1
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:29,130
>>There's an old
Japanese parable

2
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about a troubled
warrior who is haunted

3
00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:38,312
by the ghosts of the
lives he took in battle.

4
00:00:38,312 --> 00:01:07,080


5
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,056
[HUMMING]

6
00:01:10,056 --> 00:01:45,340


7
00:01:45,340 --> 00:01:47,324
>>Are you the great silk sage?

8
00:01:47,535 --> 00:01:50,500


9
00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,794
I must know if heaven
and hell exist.

10
00:01:53,935 --> 00:01:56,120


11
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,850
So many have been slaughtered.

12
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For them, I hope
there is a heaven.

13
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But I have killed so many,
and for me, I pray there

14
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is no hell.

15
00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:15,330


16
00:02:15,330 --> 00:02:17,630
Please, I must know!

17
00:02:17,630 --> 00:02:20,390


18
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,380
>>I would not want
to waste such wisdom

19
00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:24,431
on a heartless coward like you.

20
00:02:24,431 --> 00:02:27,080


21
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,800
>>What did you say, old woman?

22
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,140
>>What did you intend
to do with that?

23
00:02:32,140 --> 00:02:37,110
Prove that you're a coward by
killing a defenseless woman?

24
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I've never seen such
weakness in a warrior.

25
00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:45,806


26
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That is hell.

27
00:02:48,794 --> 00:03:21,662


28
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And that is heaven.

29
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30
00:03:47,570 --> 00:03:51,650
{\an8}>>My name is Maya
Angelou, and I believe

31
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{\an8}that the heart is the most
forceful, impactful element

32
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{\an8}in our lives.

33
00:04:01,584 --> 00:04:04,550


34
00:04:04,550 --> 00:04:09,270
>>You will never ever
reach their full potential.

35
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{\an8}If you don't open your heart.

36
00:04:11,029 --> 00:04:15,170


37
00:04:15,170 --> 00:04:20,160
{\an8}>>And the power of the heart
is to be connected with who

38
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:25,240
{\an8}you are at the deepest level.

39
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:29,440
>>We think of the heart in the
poetic sense, the seat of love

40
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,150
and compassion.

41
00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:36,430
{\an8}And it's this heart that
is so terribly important.

42
00:04:36,430 --> 00:04:38,020
{\an8}>>I'm a writer.

43
00:04:38,020 --> 00:04:41,380
{\an8}For me, inspiration
is essential.

44
00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:43,760
Creativity is essential.

45
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,900
And I can only find
it through the heart.

46
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:49,780
{\an8}>>The higher order of
logic and understanding

47
00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:52,785
{\an8}originates in your heart.

48
00:04:52,785 --> 00:04:56,210
It's experienced in your heart.

49
00:04:56,210 --> 00:04:59,640
It's lived in your heart.

50
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,810
{\an8}>>The physical heart pumps blood
through the veins and arteries

51
00:05:02,810 --> 00:05:04,860
{\an8}from the time we're
born until time we die.

52
00:05:04,860 --> 00:05:08,540
The most efficient
pump ever invented.

53
00:05:08,540 --> 00:05:09,940
But the heart is more than that.

54
00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:12,550


55
00:05:12,550 --> 00:05:14,630
{\an8}>>We did an experiment
here at HeartMath

56
00:05:14,630 --> 00:05:16,670
{\an8}to study how the
information flows

57
00:05:16,670 --> 00:05:18,830
{\an8}between the heart and the
brain, and we actually

58
00:05:18,830 --> 00:05:20,450
{\an8}discovered something
quite remarkable,

59
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,950
{\an8}something that surprised us.

60
00:05:21,950 --> 00:05:38,110


61
00:05:38,110 --> 00:05:39,760
The participants
in the study were

62
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,580
connected to various sensors
to measure their brain waves,

63
00:05:42,580 --> 00:05:44,590
their heartbeats, and so on.

64
00:05:44,590 --> 00:05:46,780
And then they were
exposed to various images.

65
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,900
Some were high arousal,
like a car crash,

66
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:51,430
or a snake striking,
while others

67
00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:54,190
were lower arousal images
like bunny rabbits and nature

68
00:05:54,190 --> 00:05:56,290
scenes.

69
00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:59,440
The participants were
asked to push a button.

70
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They then saw a blank computer
screen for six seconds.

71
00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:04,420
The computer then
randomly selected

72
00:06:04,420 --> 00:06:09,520
one of these photographs that
it displayed for three seconds.

73
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,320
After that the screen
went blank for 10 seconds,

74
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and they were prompted
to push the button again,

75
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,320
and they repeated this
protocol about 30 times.

76
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:22,620


77
00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:27,190
When we analyzed all the data,
the results were astounding.

78
00:06:27,190 --> 00:06:29,580
The heart seemed
to know the images

79
00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:34,815
before the participants ever
saw the images with their eyes.

80
00:06:34,815 --> 00:06:37,920
If the future picture was going
to be one of the emotionally

81
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,110
arousing ones, the
heart rate started

82
00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:44,280
to drop about five seconds
before the image was randomly

83
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:46,690
selected to be
shown on the screen.

84
00:06:46,690 --> 00:06:49,400
So nobody could know what this
future picture was going to be.

85
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:54,120


86
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,810
The heart had a much
greater de-acceleration

87
00:06:57,810 --> 00:07:00,627
than if it was, say, going
to be a calm picture.

88
00:07:00,627 --> 00:07:05,200


89
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,030
These results have
since been replicated

90
00:07:07,030 --> 00:07:10,120
in many different independent
labs around the world,

91
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,242
actually.

92
00:07:12,242 --> 00:07:14,920
Well, a lot of people say that
I don't feel it in my heart,

93
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,060
I feel it in my gut.

94
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,100
But here's what's
really happening.

95
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,430
The information comes
to the heart first.

96
00:07:20,430 --> 00:07:22,120
The heart then sends
a different signal

97
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:23,920
to the brain which
we can measure.

98
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:27,870
Then you have a brain response,
and then a body response.

99
00:07:27,870 --> 00:07:30,040
And with the body
response, like feeling

100
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,480
in the gut, or the hair
on the back of the neck,

101
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:33,980
is where it becomes conscious.

102
00:07:33,980 --> 00:07:38,320
But the real flow of information
is heart, brain, body.

103
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,360
And this is all
happening in many seconds

104
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,800
before the actual event occurs.

105
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,770
So what this body of
research is telling

106
00:07:45,770 --> 00:07:48,410
us is that the heart
seems to be connected

107
00:07:48,410 --> 00:07:51,560
to a type of intuition that is
not bound by the limits of time

108
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,000
and space.

109
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,650
But what is that
source of intuition?

110
00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:57,530
What is the heart connected
to, and how can we

111
00:07:57,530 --> 00:07:59,120
learn to tap into more of that?

112
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,874


113
00:08:02,874 --> 00:08:04,290
>>I believe that
the person who is

114
00:08:04,290 --> 00:08:10,720
disconnected from his or
her heart is not living.

115
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:17,020
I know a lot of people who
[? felt ?] that but they

116
00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:21,210
walk, they talk, they
watch television,

117
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:24,670
they work hard sometimes.

118
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:28,620
{\an8}>>We're the only
living form on Earth

119
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{\an8}that can actually
become the walking dead.

120
00:08:31,860 --> 00:08:38,580
We can actually cut off our
own source to aliveness.

121
00:08:38,580 --> 00:08:47,970
>>But somehow this spark
of divine energy is lost.

122
00:08:47,970 --> 00:08:50,080
This happened to me.

123
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:53,230
I said, oh, I want
to be a writer.

124
00:08:53,230 --> 00:08:56,230
My band says, oh come on, Paulo.

125
00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:59,590
In Brazil, to be a
writer in Brazil,

126
00:08:59,590 --> 00:09:01,780
nobody can make a
living out of writing.

127
00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:05,140
I said, but I don't care,
I just want to be happy.

128
00:09:05,140 --> 00:09:08,570
I just want to do something
that is going to give me fun.

129
00:09:08,570 --> 00:09:10,640
It's going to give a
meaning for my life.

130
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:13,000
And they said, no,
no, no, no, no.

131
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,580
And then, of course,
because I thought

132
00:09:15,580 --> 00:09:21,360
that old people are wiser, I
said, OK, they have reason.

133
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:24,420
Let me do something different.

134
00:09:24,420 --> 00:09:25,720
But I could not.

135
00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:32,940
I quit the university to I was
only [INAUDIBLE] and I said,

136
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,160
you have to burn your bridges.

137
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,560
And I just burned my bridges.

138
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:40,345
And I had no choice
but to follow the thing

139
00:09:40,345 --> 00:09:43,760
that I wanted to do.

140
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,070
So from the moment
that I realized

141
00:09:46,070 --> 00:09:49,930
that I want to be a writer, I
said, I'm going to be a writer.

142
00:09:49,930 --> 00:09:54,140
It may take 10 days,
10 years, or 20 years,

143
00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:55,310
but I'm going to write.

144
00:09:55,310 --> 00:09:57,800
And then I started by
writing lyrics for songs,

145
00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:03,370
I start by writing
articles for newspapers.

146
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:06,756
I wrote my first
book when I was 40,

147
00:10:06,756 --> 00:10:10,104
but at least I
wrote my first book.

148
00:10:10,104 --> 00:10:13,010


149
00:10:13,010 --> 00:10:18,440
So at the end, if you
don't fulfill your dream,

150
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:23,450
God finds three, four times
a way to kick your head

151
00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:25,760
and say, come on.

152
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:29,750
Don't forget your
purpose in your life.

153
00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:31,350
Give a chance to your dream.

154
00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:33,425
You are not going to regret.

155
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:35,383
I'm not saying that you're
not going to suffer.

156
00:10:35,383 --> 00:10:38,270


157
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:41,840
I'm not saying that you're
not going to be defeated.

158
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:46,080
I'm saying you're not
going to go regret it.

159
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,880
{\an8}>>The medieval female
mystic, Mechthild,

160
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:54,250
{\an8}beautifully said that a
fish cannot drown in water

161
00:10:54,250 --> 00:10:56,500
{\an8}and a bird cannot
fall from the sky.

162
00:10:56,500 --> 00:11:01,030
Each creature must find
their own God-given element.

163
00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:05,770
And it's easy for fish and
birds, they know their element.

164
00:11:05,770 --> 00:11:09,720
But for human beings
it's not so easy.

165
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,640
With well intention,
we always struggle

166
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:19,150
whether to follow our heart
and our direct experience

167
00:11:19,150 --> 00:11:22,810
and the advice and
instruction of others.

168
00:11:22,810 --> 00:11:27,430
Whether they be parents,
loved ones, friends, trends

169
00:11:27,430 --> 00:11:30,340
in whatever age we're born into.

170
00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:35,440
And there's no substitute
for following the aliveness

171
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:38,920
that our heart tunes us to.

172
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:42,360


173
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,474
>>Many times people are looking
for their ideal partner,

174
00:11:45,474 --> 00:11:46,890
and they say they
can't find them.

175
00:11:46,890 --> 00:11:48,810
{\an8}They're looking, and they're
looking, and they're looking,

176
00:11:48,810 --> 00:11:50,140
{\an8}and they can't find them.

177
00:11:50,140 --> 00:11:53,160
{\an8}Well if your soulmate is
not knocking on your door,

178
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,370
{\an8}it's not that you're
not looking hard enough.

179
00:11:55,370 --> 00:11:57,120
If you want to find
someone that can fully

180
00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:01,380
love you and know you, you
have to know and love yourself.

181
00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:04,260
When we're able to give
ourself this kind of love which

182
00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:05,880
says we're good
enough just the way

183
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:09,210
we are, that we're in
this world for a reason,

184
00:12:09,210 --> 00:12:12,450
that we're never alone,
that sense of fulfillment

185
00:12:12,450 --> 00:12:16,980
provides a foundation for
having a successful relationship

186
00:12:16,980 --> 00:12:18,450
with someone else.

187
00:12:18,450 --> 00:12:22,170
>>A great teacher this
is a simple flower.

188
00:12:22,170 --> 00:12:26,430
When the flower
blossoms, the bee comes.

189
00:12:26,430 --> 00:12:30,360
The flower doesn't go
looking for the bee.

190
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:32,850
And this is where the
heart really comes alive,

191
00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:36,690
because relationships are far
more challenging than what

192
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,350
we see in the movies.

193
00:12:38,350 --> 00:12:39,930
>>All right, roll it.

194
00:12:39,930 --> 00:12:42,428
>>I've loved you all my life.

195
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,700
>>But we only met two days ago.

196
00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:49,340
>>That's when my life began.

197
00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:50,900
>>The journey of
a relationship is

198
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:56,240
finding love every time
again, and again, and again.

199
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,880
And to find love
again and again means

200
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:03,410
you're going to lose it,
and lose it, and lose it.

201
00:13:03,410 --> 00:13:07,040
>>Often the question arises that
if the heart is so powerful,

202
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,690
why is it so easily broken?

203
00:13:08,690 --> 00:13:11,840
And my time on Earth has
led me to understand,

204
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:15,100
because that's how
the heart grows.

205
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:19,250
In the same way that when we
exercise our muscles actually

206
00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:24,110
break down so that they can
get healthy and grow stronger,

207
00:13:24,110 --> 00:13:25,970
this is how the heart works.

208
00:13:25,970 --> 00:13:27,620
>>You have to bring
forth obstacles,

209
00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:29,150
and that's what a marriage is.

210
00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:30,500
You will be challenged.

211
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:34,020
>>One day a blonde walked
into Charles' life.

212
00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:35,963
>>Was she really pretty?

213
00:13:35,963 --> 00:13:38,960
>>Well, I'd lie about her,
but Marian saw her, too.

214
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,220
Yes, she's very pretty.

215
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,380
>>There'll be times when
you doubt your partner,

216
00:13:42,380 --> 00:13:45,530
you doubt your relationship, and
you're angry with your partner.

217
00:13:45,530 --> 00:13:47,650
>>There isn't the slightest
bit of good in you.

218
00:13:47,650 --> 00:13:49,880
>>You're afraid to get
close to your partner,

219
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:51,500
you've been hurt
by your partner.

220
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:53,840
>>He's hiding something
from me, Sylvie.

221
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,130
Something terrible.

222
00:13:55,130 --> 00:13:56,780
>>This is part of that journey.

223
00:13:56,780 --> 00:14:01,970
>>You know, in the moment of
such breaking, it's agony,

224
00:14:01,970 --> 00:14:05,020
and we feel desperate.

225
00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:09,390
But the heart, the heart
just says, give me more.

226
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,910
Give me more.

227
00:14:10,910 --> 00:14:14,240
>>As you come back to love,
each time coming back to love,

228
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,330
finding forgiveness,
finding acceptance, even

229
00:14:17,330 --> 00:14:21,230
thanking your partner at
times for their inadequacies

230
00:14:21,230 --> 00:14:23,540
so to speak, because
it poured forth

231
00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:27,130
greater love within yourself,
that is how you grow.

232
00:14:27,130 --> 00:14:29,160
>>There was a battle, all right.

233
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,960
But it wasn't Paul I had
to fight, but myself.

234
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,810
>>Bonnie will say
to me, John, I don't

235
00:14:35,810 --> 00:14:37,550
want to listen to
you until you're

236
00:14:37,550 --> 00:14:39,870
talking to me from your heart.

237
00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:41,720
I said, no, I'm talking,
I'm making sense.

238
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:42,800
No.

239
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,450
I want to hear your feeling.

240
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,950
I want to hear your love
in the tone of your voice.

241
00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:49,790
And when you can find
it, we can talk again.

242
00:14:49,790 --> 00:14:51,680
What a simple
message she gives me.

243
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,210
Now, it would be
a mistake for her

244
00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:56,090
to say something's wrong
with being in my head,

245
00:14:56,090 --> 00:14:58,830
because that would make a very
important part of me wrong.

246
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,680
But what she'll say
is at times what

247
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,740
my heart is closed,
when I sound mean

248
00:15:03,740 --> 00:15:05,026
or focused on being right--

249
00:15:05,026 --> 00:15:07,400
>>Now, if you want to tell me
what's troubling you, fine.

250
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,400
If not, I'm tired, it's late,
and I want to go home to bed.

251
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,890
>>She'll say, right
now, I can't hear this.

252
00:15:12,890 --> 00:15:15,650
I need to hear a little
bit more of your heart.

253
00:15:15,650 --> 00:15:17,570
When you're ready to
talk from your heart,

254
00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:19,370
I'm ready to talk with you.

255
00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:21,020
>>I think the
challenge in our age

256
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:22,760
is staying in a relationship.

257
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:26,150
And that doesn't mean to
stay in abusive relationships

258
00:15:26,150 --> 00:15:28,070
or relationships
that don't work.

259
00:15:28,070 --> 00:15:31,940
And I have found for
me that the difference

260
00:15:31,940 --> 00:15:36,650
often as to whether to stay or
go in a friendship or a love

261
00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:42,375
relationship hinges on whether
all of who I am is welcome.

262
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:45,050


263
00:15:45,050 --> 00:15:51,360
If I am asked to leave who I
am or part of who I am outside,

264
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:55,700
then no matter what we
do in that relationship,

265
00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:57,590
I won't grow.

266
00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:00,530
Because I won't be able to
stay connected to my heart.

267
00:16:00,530 --> 00:16:04,530
>>And this is where their
story really begins.

268
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:08,040
It wouldn't be fair to tell you
how it ends, for that, we hope,

269
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,734
is something you'll want
to experience for yourself.

270
00:16:10,734 --> 00:16:24,390


271
00:16:24,390 --> 00:16:26,740
>>Things can get crazy, no?

272
00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:30,900
{\an8}So many people,
they lose their kids

273
00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:33,950
{\an8}because there is
no relationship,

274
00:16:33,950 --> 00:16:35,040
{\an8}there is no contact.

275
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:39,540
Which is very bad, because
no time to try again,

276
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,820
and to try again,
to find a solution.

277
00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:42,660
I have four kids.

278
00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:45,330
{\an8}One of them is playing
for [? IX. ?] Probably

279
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:46,850
{\an8}I paid more attention to that.

280
00:16:46,850 --> 00:16:50,130
{\an8}And then the oldest one got
a little bit less attention,

281
00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:55,050
{\an8}I don't know, and he
was against me in a way.

282
00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:57,350
And I decided, I
have to do something.

283
00:16:57,350 --> 00:17:00,300
I have to give him an
opportunity to get closer.

284
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:03,414
And then all of a sudden
I told him, come on.

285
00:17:03,414 --> 00:17:06,650
We take the bags and we'll
go to Greece, you know?

286
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:11,650
I said, in order to persuade
him, it might be my last time.

287
00:17:11,650 --> 00:17:13,280
>>Why did you say that?

288
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,524
>>When we go up on the
Alps I will tell you.

289
00:17:16,524 --> 00:17:17,690
>>I had nothing to tell him.

290
00:17:17,690 --> 00:17:19,960
I just told him because
otherwise he wouldn't come,

291
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,510
and I knew that
he wouldn't come.

292
00:17:22,510 --> 00:17:25,435
We went from Amsterdam,
to Athens, Greece.

293
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:31,870


294
00:17:31,870 --> 00:17:34,680
You become his brother,
you become his mate,

295
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,890
you become his friend.

296
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,780
This would happen up in the
Alps, where it was minus 16

297
00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:44,894
and we're freezing
cold, so we became one.

298
00:17:44,894 --> 00:17:46,842
>>Hey, where are you, man?

299
00:17:46,842 --> 00:17:48,013
>>Dad, where are you?

300
00:17:48,013 --> 00:17:49,605
>>This is a little
house here, come!

301
00:17:49,605 --> 00:17:52,460


302
00:17:52,460 --> 00:17:54,810
>>Hello?

303
00:17:54,810 --> 00:17:55,920
Hello.

304
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:56,720
Hey!

305
00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:00,880
Look at this, please, please
let us sleep with you tonight.

306
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,660
If you allow me to sleep
here tonight, me and Willem,

307
00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:04,530
just for a night.

308
00:18:04,530 --> 00:18:05,892
It's so cold.

309
00:18:05,892 --> 00:18:07,510
I love you.

310
00:18:07,510 --> 00:18:10,630
>>And then everything went
away all this friction

311
00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:14,030
because I was in the
same team with him.

312
00:18:14,030 --> 00:18:17,920
And I love that, and I'm very
happy that this little mistake

313
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,470
of mine, which
was not dedicating

314
00:18:20,470 --> 00:18:22,140
enough time to my oldest son--

315
00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:23,916
>>I don't know
nothing about boxing,

316
00:18:23,916 --> 00:18:25,570
so be careful with your dad, eh?

317
00:18:25,570 --> 00:18:28,620
>>And now that we are
really, really good friends.

318
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:33,660


319
00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:35,900
Every father has good
friction with his son.

320
00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:36,960
And love it.

321
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:38,700
You have good kids, no?

322
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:41,370
I hope you will enjoy when
the friction is coming.

323
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,666
Otherwise he hasn't
got any character.

324
00:18:43,666 --> 00:18:44,990
>>You OK?

325
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,150
>>Yeah, man.

326
00:18:46,150 --> 00:18:48,973
>>So when your son is
against you, be very happy.

327
00:18:48,973 --> 00:18:49,773
OK?

328
00:18:49,773 --> 00:18:55,450


329
00:18:55,450 --> 00:19:01,090
{\an8}>>On Sunday, September 22nd,
at about 10:54 in the evening,

330
00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:05,110
{\an8}our daughter was riding her
bicycle home from the CSU Chico

331
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:11,140
{\an8}State Library when she was
struck by a drunk driver

332
00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:15,660
{\an8}and left on the side
of the road to die.

333
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:19,770
>>In the phone conversation
with the nurse,

334
00:19:19,770 --> 00:19:22,590
we knew that she had
been in an accident,

335
00:19:22,590 --> 00:19:25,910
but we didn't know
any of the details.

336
00:19:25,910 --> 00:19:30,910
That it was a drunk driver, and
that it was a 19-year-old kid.

337
00:19:30,910 --> 00:19:33,690
She was riding four
blocks home from school.

338
00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:36,150
She was about a half a
block from her apartment.

339
00:19:36,150 --> 00:19:38,620
>>You could see her apartment
from where she was hit.

340
00:19:38,620 --> 00:19:40,770
>>You could actually
stand on the bridge

341
00:19:40,770 --> 00:19:42,190
and see her
apartment from there.

342
00:19:42,190 --> 00:19:42,990
>>She was so close.

343
00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:45,796
>>That's how close it was, and
I've stood there so many times

344
00:19:45,796 --> 00:19:47,170
and just looked
at that distance.

345
00:19:47,170 --> 00:19:53,550


346
00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:59,020
Just thought about that short
distance has changed our lives.

347
00:19:59,020 --> 00:20:01,580


348
00:20:01,580 --> 00:20:04,910
>>Christina was one of
those extraordinary people

349
00:20:04,910 --> 00:20:07,520
that you don't come
across very often.

350
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:08,814
>>She studied.

351
00:20:08,814 --> 00:20:10,730
She really thought about
how to live her life.

352
00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:12,980
{\an8}She didn't just
stumble through life

353
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:16,870
{\an8}the way many people do,
especially at her age.

354
00:20:16,870 --> 00:20:21,280
From the time she weighed enough
to give blood, she gave it.

355
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,840
And sometimes she
would even pass out,

356
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,090
and Sandra would drive her
home in the car, she'd say,

357
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:28,010
that's it, you're not
going to do this again.

358
00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:31,840
She'd say, no, I am going to
do this again, and she would.

359
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:35,410
She would give blood whenever
she had the chance and--

360
00:20:35,410 --> 00:20:36,910
>>Pass out every time.

361
00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:39,724
>>And she'd pass out
almost every time.

362
00:20:39,724 --> 00:20:41,140
That's the way she
lived her life.

363
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:44,184
If she thought it was the
right thing to do, she did it.

364
00:20:44,184 --> 00:20:46,100
And so many people know
the right thing to do,

365
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:47,890
but they don't always do it.

366
00:20:47,890 --> 00:20:51,290
But she didn't even
have to think about it.

367
00:20:51,290 --> 00:20:53,820
>>About three weeks
after Christina died,

368
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:59,280
we had to go and pack up
her apartment up in Chico.

369
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:05,220
And I opened up a drawer
and I saw a makeup bag.

370
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:08,970
I opened up the makeup bag and
it had several pieces of paper

371
00:21:08,970 --> 00:21:09,770
in it.

372
00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:13,790
No makeup, but several
pieces of paper.

373
00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:18,740
And among those papers
was this piece of paper

374
00:21:18,740 --> 00:21:22,000
that was folded and
a little tattered.

375
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:26,080
And I looked at it
and I started to read.

376
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,810
And I realized it
was bucket list.

377
00:21:28,810 --> 00:21:45,960


378
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:52,875
She never said I want to be
rich, I want to be famous.

379
00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:57,160
She didn't ask for
anything unreasonable.

380
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,925
She just wanted
to do normal stuff

381
00:21:59,925 --> 00:22:01,857
and she never got to do that.

382
00:22:01,857 --> 00:22:05,780


383
00:22:05,780 --> 00:22:08,150
Be in four places at once.

384
00:22:08,150 --> 00:22:10,310
There's a place
called Four Corners.

385
00:22:10,310 --> 00:22:13,670
You can actually go to the
edge of all four states, that's

386
00:22:13,670 --> 00:22:15,460
what she wanted to do.

387
00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:18,410
But she's done this already.

388
00:22:18,410 --> 00:22:23,600
Not by being there,
but with her organs.

389
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:27,590
Parts of her are
four places at once.

390
00:22:27,590 --> 00:22:30,170
Her liver was split
between two people.

391
00:22:30,170 --> 00:22:34,450
One was a 55-year-old man and
one was a nine-month-old baby.

392
00:22:34,450 --> 00:22:37,390
A kidney, somebody
that the family knew.

393
00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:41,240
Another man got the rest
of Christina's liver.

394
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:45,020
Her pancreas and the
other kidney went to a man

395
00:22:45,020 --> 00:22:46,880
in the South Bay.

396
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:51,350
And her heart went to
a 64-year-old woman

397
00:22:51,350 --> 00:22:53,735
from the South Bay at Stanford.

398
00:22:53,735 --> 00:22:57,505


399
00:22:57,505 --> 00:23:01,770
>>Lao Tzu said that I
have just three things

400
00:23:01,770 --> 00:23:08,670
to teach, simplicity,
patience, and compassion.

401
00:23:08,670 --> 00:23:12,720
In an age where we run
from the depth of feeling

402
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,930
and the teachings of
the heart, our fear

403
00:23:15,930 --> 00:23:21,000
can reframe simplicity
as stupidity,

404
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:27,360
patience as laziness, and
compassion as sentimentality.

405
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:32,760
And therefore make them
not worthwhile to pick up.

406
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:40,120
Simplicity refers to direct
living, firsthand experience.

407
00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:45,810
So the return to
touching life directly.

408
00:23:45,810 --> 00:23:50,340
This restores our
wholeheartedness.

409
00:23:50,340 --> 00:23:54,960
Patience also restores
us to wholeheartedness.

410
00:23:54,960 --> 00:24:02,370
The urgencies we feel ever
present are mostly false.

411
00:24:02,370 --> 00:24:07,770
Unless you or I can't
breathe or we're bleeding,

412
00:24:07,770 --> 00:24:10,310
there's no real urgency.

413
00:24:10,310 --> 00:24:13,520
And compassion,
compassion literally

414
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:18,710
means to be with, to
keep honest company.

415
00:24:18,710 --> 00:24:26,490
So when I am not directly
living, when I am not patient,

416
00:24:26,490 --> 00:24:29,850
I want to problem
solve your pain

417
00:24:29,850 --> 00:24:31,910
and not keep you
company with it.

418
00:24:31,910 --> 00:24:34,594


419
00:24:34,594 --> 00:24:36,010
I'm often asked,
well that's fine,

420
00:24:36,010 --> 00:24:40,180
but how can we do that
in the real world?

421
00:24:40,180 --> 00:24:43,260
And I see it differently.

422
00:24:43,260 --> 00:24:51,310
I've come to understand that
if you don't open your heart,

423
00:24:51,310 --> 00:24:54,090
then existence will crush you.

424
00:24:54,090 --> 00:24:56,280
{\an8}Not because there's something
evil about existence,

425
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,220
{\an8}but because the way
water fills a hole,

426
00:24:59,220 --> 00:25:05,520
{\an8}if you don't meet the
world with who you are then

427
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,310
{\an8}everything around
will just fill you in.

428
00:25:08,310 --> 00:25:11,760
So there's always a question,
yes, if I'm out in the world,

429
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:15,120
I could get hurt, I could
get taken advantage of.

430
00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:17,940
I could get betrayed.

431
00:25:17,940 --> 00:25:20,680
My trust may not be rewarded.

432
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,030
This is all true.

433
00:25:23,030 --> 00:25:26,730
But I have found that
the cost for not staying

434
00:25:26,730 --> 00:25:33,510
open hearted, whole hearted,
is that I lose access

435
00:25:33,510 --> 00:25:35,175
to my aliveness.

436
00:25:35,175 --> 00:25:39,030
>>And we'll end up
walking lock step

437
00:25:39,030 --> 00:25:46,210
in a society of consumerism, of
getting, of fear, and of worry.

438
00:25:46,210 --> 00:25:49,770
{\an8}And we will not
have lived our life.

439
00:25:49,770 --> 00:25:51,720
We have a life to live.

440
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,800
The heart has the answers.

441
00:25:53,800 --> 00:26:00,280


442
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,670
{\an8}>>I was editor of a magazine,
I started that one years ago.

443
00:26:03,670 --> 00:26:05,380
{\an8}And I was looking
at this magazine.

444
00:26:05,380 --> 00:26:07,000
{\an8}And as usual, there
was this picture

445
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,010
{\an8}of the editor in
front of the magazine.

446
00:26:09,010 --> 00:26:13,030
And I was looking at myself
smiling, and I thought,

447
00:26:13,030 --> 00:26:14,950
it's not true.

448
00:26:14,950 --> 00:26:16,240
This is not me.

449
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,940
But there was a sadness,
it was like a wave

450
00:26:18,940 --> 00:26:21,340
of sadness that washed me.

451
00:26:21,340 --> 00:26:23,140
It was a really upset moment.

452
00:26:23,140 --> 00:26:24,360
I can laugh at it now.

453
00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:27,460
And I thought, who is
this me, or I, or self?

454
00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:31,450
What is it in religion, or
in spiritual traditions,

455
00:26:31,450 --> 00:26:33,080
or in philosophy?

456
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,200
What is it?

457
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,840
>>Every spiritual tradition
throughout history

458
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,740
has spoken about the heart as
being the seed of the soul.

459
00:26:41,740 --> 00:26:44,950
{\an8}The diamond in the heart,
the lotus and the heart,

460
00:26:44,950 --> 00:26:47,260
{\an8}the temple in the heart.

461
00:26:47,260 --> 00:26:49,870
{\an8}Every tradition
speaks about the heart

462
00:26:49,870 --> 00:26:54,450
{\an8}as being the essence
of who we are.

463
00:26:54,450 --> 00:26:59,460
>>The heart points to the most
essential dimension within you.

464
00:26:59,460 --> 00:27:02,510
So to live in
connectedness with that,

465
00:27:02,510 --> 00:27:06,570
then you are in touch with
the power of the heart, which

466
00:27:06,570 --> 00:27:11,520
is the power of life itself.

467
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,820
The power of the
very intelligence

468
00:27:14,820 --> 00:27:20,490
that pervades and underlies
the entire universe.

469
00:27:20,490 --> 00:27:24,060
>>Divine intelligence
is in your heart.

470
00:27:24,060 --> 00:27:27,320
You will not find your
soul in your intellect.

471
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:30,730
>>And I suddenly thought,
wow, look at all these notes.

472
00:27:30,730 --> 00:27:32,840
This could be a magazine.

473
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:36,856
And the title was easy, because
it made me really happy.

474
00:27:36,856 --> 00:27:37,840
Happiness.

475
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:58,520


476
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:03,160
So to listen to your heart
can be very frightening,

477
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,370
because you might have to lose
all the secure things that life

478
00:28:06,370 --> 00:28:11,470
was giving you, like cars,
money, houses, everything.

479
00:28:11,470 --> 00:28:14,870
>>Well, I'm a person
who has a lot of fear.

480
00:28:14,870 --> 00:28:18,370
Like for example,
every time that I

481
00:28:18,370 --> 00:28:21,220
have to write a new book.

482
00:28:21,220 --> 00:28:24,860
Would I be able
to express myself?

483
00:28:24,860 --> 00:28:27,600
Would I be able
to share my soul?

484
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:31,130
>>When we consider
challenging fear,

485
00:28:31,130 --> 00:28:34,880
we're actually considering
shining the light of awareness

486
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:38,090
on those places within
us that are fearful.

487
00:28:38,090 --> 00:28:40,440
>>There is nothing
wrong with fear.

488
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:44,600
The only thing that is wrong
is to be paralyzed by fear.

489
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:49,220
>>So I thought, OK, I face
it, I just face it, this fear.

490
00:28:49,220 --> 00:28:53,440
What will happen to me if this
magazine is not a success?

491
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,512
Maybe I have to sell the house.

492
00:28:55,512 --> 00:28:56,720
So I looked to another house.

493
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:59,821


494
00:28:59,821 --> 00:29:05,320
An area in the village where
you can rent a very cheap house.

495
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,560
I thought, can I live there?

496
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:08,860
Of course I can live there.

497
00:29:08,860 --> 00:29:09,660
Why not?

498
00:29:09,660 --> 00:29:12,960
It's a roof, it's a
house, I can live there.

499
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:14,430
And I knew I can handle this.

500
00:29:14,430 --> 00:29:17,550
Whatever will
happen, we will live.

501
00:29:17,550 --> 00:29:19,440
>>And there's an
old Sioux saying

502
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:23,870
that says, the longest journey
you will make in your life

503
00:29:23,870 --> 00:29:27,740
is from your head to your heart.

504
00:29:27,740 --> 00:29:34,130
And this isn't because
we're stupid or we're slow.

505
00:29:34,130 --> 00:29:38,300
It's because it takes time.

506
00:29:38,300 --> 00:29:41,090
Before I had cancer, I
believed in the heart

507
00:29:41,090 --> 00:29:43,650
but I was living
it from my head.

508
00:29:43,650 --> 00:29:48,730
And that journey, like snow
melting into the ground,

509
00:29:48,730 --> 00:29:52,150
the essence of my life
melted into my heart.

510
00:29:52,150 --> 00:29:56,320
It took almost dying to make
that journey from my head

511
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,640
to my heart.

512
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,490
>>Your primary
intention needs to be

513
00:30:02,490 --> 00:30:07,230
connectedness with the
heart at this moment.

514
00:30:07,230 --> 00:30:11,640
>>I have to act from a
place of good intention.

515
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,970
A place of love
and kindness that

516
00:30:14,970 --> 00:30:18,000
will allow me to
walk in this world

517
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,850
without creating any damage.

518
00:30:20,850 --> 00:30:24,180
>>You may intend to
have a million dollars,

519
00:30:24,180 --> 00:30:29,863
and that intention then
needs you to rob a bank.

520
00:30:29,863 --> 00:30:33,530


521
00:30:33,530 --> 00:30:37,460
If you really want the thing,
go to the heart and say,

522
00:30:37,460 --> 00:30:39,370
this is what I want.

523
00:30:39,370 --> 00:30:42,620
And the heart can say, I'll
show you how you get it.

524
00:30:42,620 --> 00:30:47,240
You must be willing to work,
now, and trust me, now.

525
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,300
And then you can have it, yes.

526
00:30:50,300 --> 00:30:52,910
If it's not going
to hurt anyone else.

527
00:30:52,910 --> 00:30:55,500
>>Suppose you meet
someone who says,

528
00:30:55,500 --> 00:30:57,080
I intend to make more money.

529
00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:59,660
And he says, that's
my intention.

530
00:30:59,660 --> 00:31:03,450
You can ask him, why do you
want to make more money?

531
00:31:03,450 --> 00:31:07,610
And then you'll start to
learn some interesting things.

532
00:31:07,610 --> 00:31:10,370
>>If making money becomes
your primary goal,

533
00:31:10,370 --> 00:31:13,520
then know that you
are not connected

534
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:15,680
with the deepest
dimension in yourself

535
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:18,440
that we call the heart.

536
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:22,940
And even if you achieve your
goal and make a lot of money,

537
00:31:22,940 --> 00:31:26,150
you will find that
ultimately it leads

538
00:31:26,150 --> 00:31:29,450
to frustration and unhappiness.

539
00:31:29,450 --> 00:31:34,550
>>Fulfill your dream, and
certainly money may come.

540
00:31:34,550 --> 00:31:39,290
If money does not come, just
to have a life full of joy.

541
00:31:39,290 --> 00:31:41,360
In my case, for
example, I never thought

542
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:45,020
I would make a living
out of writing.

543
00:31:45,020 --> 00:31:49,100
I was writing because
I wanted to do it.

544
00:31:49,100 --> 00:31:50,900
I had no choice.

545
00:31:50,900 --> 00:31:53,150
So at the end of
the day, not only

546
00:31:53,150 --> 00:31:57,300
I made money out of writing,
but I made a lot of money

547
00:31:57,300 --> 00:31:59,570
out of writing.

548
00:31:59,570 --> 00:32:04,490
>>It often happens that when
your actions become empowered

549
00:32:04,490 --> 00:32:11,060
and contribute something
vital to this world,

550
00:32:11,060 --> 00:32:15,170
then abundance in
some form-- and it

551
00:32:15,170 --> 00:32:19,970
may be in the form of money--
can sometimes flow to you.

552
00:32:19,970 --> 00:32:21,890
>>It was a great success.

553
00:32:21,890 --> 00:32:25,210
Holland wanted this
magazine so it could grow,

554
00:32:25,210 --> 00:32:27,860
and it was the biggest
magazine of the Netherlands.

555
00:32:27,860 --> 00:32:29,010
It came from the heart.

556
00:32:29,010 --> 00:32:31,460
It was the real thing.

557
00:32:31,460 --> 00:32:37,370
>>Wherever your heart is, there
you will find your treasure.

558
00:32:37,370 --> 00:32:42,310
>>The heart is who you are.

559
00:32:42,310 --> 00:32:46,670
The heart defines you.

560
00:32:46,670 --> 00:32:53,160
And I really wanted
to meet that person,

561
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:58,120
because I knew that person had
to be pretty special to get

562
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:00,670
Christina's heart.

563
00:33:00,670 --> 00:33:05,020
Late one evening, my son got
a text message from a friend,

564
00:33:05,020 --> 00:33:08,560
and said, tell your mom
to read the Facebook page.

565
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,260
So I went to Facebook,
and I saw a message.

566
00:33:11,260 --> 00:33:14,350
And the message was,
I am Susan Vieira,

567
00:33:14,350 --> 00:33:17,590
and I believe I'm the recipient
of your daughter's heart.

568
00:33:17,590 --> 00:33:22,000
I knew it was late, but I just
figured I'd message her anyway.

569
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,360
And she responded right back.

570
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:29,691
And I dialed her number,
and she picked up.

571
00:33:29,691 --> 00:33:32,040
And right away I just
felt a connection.

572
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:35,344


573
00:33:35,344 --> 00:33:38,660
I felt Christina.

574
00:33:38,660 --> 00:33:42,110
And then when I heard this
she was a retired nurse,

575
00:33:42,110 --> 00:33:44,920
and that they had
so much in common,

576
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,790
that it was like
Christina handpicked Susan

577
00:33:48,790 --> 00:33:50,350
to get her heart.

578
00:33:50,350 --> 00:33:53,560
{\an8}>>Christina and I
were both nurses.

579
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:57,910
I saw the bucket list, and
it's really a CV of my life.

580
00:33:57,910 --> 00:34:00,400
>>She wanted to manage
and own her own business.

581
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:01,570
>>Yes, I did that.

582
00:34:01,570 --> 00:34:02,920
>>She wanted to get married.

583
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,200
>>Yes, I've done that.

584
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,310
>>She wanted to learn
how to fly a plane.

585
00:34:07,310 --> 00:34:08,800
>>I've learned to fly a plane.

586
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,470
>>She wanted to go
to four out of seven

587
00:34:11,470 --> 00:34:13,720
of the wonders of the world.

588
00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:15,010
>>Yes, check.

589
00:34:15,010 --> 00:34:17,420
>>Fly first class
on an airplane.

590
00:34:17,420 --> 00:34:18,220
>>Check.

591
00:34:18,220 --> 00:34:19,870
>>Visit the 50 states.

592
00:34:19,870 --> 00:34:20,919
>>I'm working on it.

593
00:34:20,919 --> 00:34:23,020
>>Ride in a hot air balloon.

594
00:34:23,020 --> 00:34:23,919
>>I've done that.

595
00:34:23,919 --> 00:34:25,450
>>Go parachuting.

596
00:34:25,450 --> 00:34:27,810
>>I'm going to have to
wait a while on that one.

597
00:34:27,810 --> 00:34:28,720
>>Ride a camel.

598
00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:29,520
>>Done that.

599
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,300
>>Travel to all the continents.

600
00:34:31,300 --> 00:34:32,260
>>Working on it.

601
00:34:32,260 --> 00:34:34,240
>>Be remembered as
the smiley girl.

602
00:34:34,240 --> 00:34:36,340
>>I'm still working
on that one, too.

603
00:34:36,340 --> 00:34:37,840
>>She wanted save
someone's life,

604
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,990
which she did that in death.

605
00:34:40,990 --> 00:34:45,430
She wanted to own two pieces of
property, one with livestock.

606
00:34:45,430 --> 00:34:46,600
>>I hesitated on that one.

607
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,570
I've owned two
pieces of property,

608
00:34:48,570 --> 00:34:50,770
but they didn't have
livestock on them.

609
00:34:50,770 --> 00:34:55,450
>>She went to break up a fight
between two guys over her.

610
00:34:55,450 --> 00:34:56,830
>>No, I haven't done that one.

611
00:34:56,830 --> 00:34:59,260
>>She wanted to run
through a poppy field.

612
00:34:59,260 --> 00:35:00,960
>>I haven't done that, either.

613
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,040
>>Tour Niagara Falls.

614
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,260
>>I'd love to go
to Niagara Falls.

615
00:35:05,260 --> 00:35:06,580
>>And have children.

616
00:35:06,580 --> 00:35:07,420
>>I don't think so.

617
00:35:07,420 --> 00:35:08,860
At this point,
that's one I'm not

618
00:35:08,860 --> 00:35:10,990
going to accomplish
on her bucket list.

619
00:35:10,990 --> 00:35:14,920
>>Go to the Smithsonian
and drive along Route 66.

620
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:19,160
>>Drove it all the way from
California to Tennessee.

621
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,800
>>And it was so important
to her that these

622
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:25,390
get done that we knew it was
something that we wanted to do.

623
00:35:25,390 --> 00:35:28,900
>>I also made the goal
to try and do as many

624
00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:33,600
of the undone items
on the bucket list.

625
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,250
>>Having a heart
transplant, there's

626
00:35:35,250 --> 00:35:36,990
things that she can't do.

627
00:35:36,990 --> 00:35:41,350
She can't go skydiving
or parachuting,

628
00:35:41,350 --> 00:35:44,110
so we'll do that for her.

629
00:35:44,110 --> 00:35:51,070
It won't be me because I'm too
scared, but it'll get done.

630
00:35:51,070 --> 00:35:56,100
Everything on that list
that we can do, we'll do.

631
00:35:56,100 --> 00:36:01,760
>>When are defeated, you
cannot pretend that you are

632
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,810
spiritually superior.

633
00:36:04,810 --> 00:36:13,140
Sit down, and cry, and
suffer, and say, oh my God,

634
00:36:13,140 --> 00:36:16,310
why did you forsake me?

635
00:36:16,310 --> 00:36:18,940
You are allowed to cry.

636
00:36:18,940 --> 00:36:21,350
You are allowed to be defeated.

637
00:36:21,350 --> 00:36:24,960
>>How not to deny my pain,
because if we deny it,

638
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:26,900
it will get bigger.

639
00:36:26,900 --> 00:36:28,910
And how not to drown in it.

640
00:36:28,910 --> 00:36:33,960
We are asked to let in
beauty while we're suffering.

641
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:42,290


642
00:36:42,290 --> 00:36:44,920
[HEART BEATING]

643
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:45,720


644
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:47,190
>>I hear it.

645
00:36:47,190 --> 00:36:49,350
{\an8}I remember when she
was little, and they

646
00:36:49,350 --> 00:36:56,450
{\an8}would lay my head on her chest,
and I would hear her heart.

647
00:36:56,450 --> 00:36:57,805
That's how I felt today.

648
00:36:57,805 --> 00:37:01,220


649
00:37:01,220 --> 00:37:07,100
I thought that's the heart
I heard so many times.

650
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:12,827


651
00:37:12,827 --> 00:37:15,312
>>Good.

652
00:37:15,312 --> 00:37:17,300
>>Thank you.

653
00:37:17,300 --> 00:37:18,294
>>You're welcome.

654
00:37:18,294 --> 00:37:24,780


655
00:37:24,780 --> 00:37:28,710
>>I went through the experience
of losing my daughter

656
00:37:28,710 --> 00:37:32,310
because there was malpractice
and negligence in the hospital,

657
00:37:32,310 --> 00:37:37,370
and my daughter became
a vegetable, really.

658
00:37:37,370 --> 00:37:42,670
In a coma for a year until she
finally was liberated and died.

659
00:37:42,670 --> 00:37:44,900
And I could carry for
the rest of my life

660
00:37:44,900 --> 00:37:49,580
the burden of the anger and
resentment of what happened.

661
00:37:49,580 --> 00:37:52,490
I could blame and
sue the hospital.

662
00:37:52,490 --> 00:37:54,710
But I chose to write
a book instead.

663
00:37:54,710 --> 00:37:58,880
And in that book I sort of
glimpsed the whole thing.

664
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:00,650
I understood what had happened.

665
00:38:00,650 --> 00:38:04,070
I realized that there
was no bad intention.

666
00:38:04,070 --> 00:38:08,150
There was ignorance,
negligence, but not

667
00:38:08,150 --> 00:38:11,370
the purpose of harming her.

668
00:38:11,370 --> 00:38:15,220
And I forgave, and
I've been able to live

669
00:38:15,220 --> 00:38:19,870
for 19 years with the spirit
of my daughter happily.

670
00:38:19,870 --> 00:38:23,020
{\an8}I don't carry that
burden with me.

671
00:38:23,020 --> 00:38:26,380
{\an8}>>Whenever I'm having a
difficult time forgiving,

672
00:38:26,380 --> 00:38:28,580
{\an8}I think of Immaculee Ilibagiza.

673
00:38:28,580 --> 00:38:37,250


674
00:38:37,250 --> 00:38:38,760
>>I was home for
[? Istauli ?] Day.

675
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:41,900


676
00:38:41,900 --> 00:38:43,400
My brother come to my room--

677
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:44,690
>>You're still sleeping?

678
00:38:44,690 --> 00:38:47,100
>>He looked like he was
awake for many hours.

679
00:38:47,100 --> 00:38:49,160
>>You don't know what happened?

680
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,080
>>I jumped out of
the bed, I never

681
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:54,699
did this before in front of
my brother, put on my clothes.

682
00:38:54,699 --> 00:38:55,776
>>We will win!

683
00:38:55,776 --> 00:38:56,853
We will win!

684
00:38:56,853 --> 00:38:57,930
Find the cockroaches!

685
00:38:57,930 --> 00:38:59,010
Find the cockroaches!

686
00:38:59,010 --> 00:39:00,090
>> He said,

687
00:39:00,090 --> 00:39:03,700
>>The president of our
country died last night.

688
00:39:03,700 --> 00:39:07,080
>>They're going to kill us.

689
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:08,830
>>I come from a tribe of Tutsi.

690
00:39:08,830 --> 00:39:10,840
{\an8}It was well-loved.

691
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:13,750
{\an8}And we kind of suspected
something might happen.

692
00:39:13,750 --> 00:39:16,090
My parents sent me to
hide to a neighbor, who

693
00:39:16,090 --> 00:39:18,445
was from the Hutu tribe.

694
00:39:18,445 --> 00:39:21,460
It was a protestant
pastor, and he

695
00:39:21,460 --> 00:39:23,500
put me to sleep in
a bathroom of three

696
00:39:23,500 --> 00:39:26,440
by four feet with
other seven women.

697
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:30,870
We couldn't talk, we couldn't
speak, as the man told us,

698
00:39:30,870 --> 00:39:33,830
>>I won't even tell my children.

699
00:39:33,830 --> 00:39:35,350
One mistake, one mistake.

700
00:39:35,350 --> 00:39:37,016
It's not that I don't
trust my children,

701
00:39:37,016 --> 00:39:39,720
but this mistake, it
would be too late for you

702
00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:43,448
and your life will be over.

703
00:39:43,448 --> 00:39:47,080
Don't use the shower.

704
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,327
>>Only flush the
water of the bathroom

705
00:39:49,327 --> 00:39:51,660
when someone is flushing the
water in the next bathroom.

706
00:39:51,660 --> 00:39:55,464


707
00:39:55,464 --> 00:39:57,047
>>I think
[? that we'll be in for ?] a

708
00:39:57,047 --> 00:39:58,800
week or maybe less.

709
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:02,420
But if we are careful, we
might live through this.

710
00:40:02,420 --> 00:40:03,840
Just be careful.

711
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:06,920


712
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:10,100
>>We thought it was going
to be two, three days.

713
00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:14,645
We spent in that
bathroom three months.

714
00:40:14,645 --> 00:40:17,602
>>You must not let
your guard down.

715
00:40:17,602 --> 00:40:19,310
The Tutsi snakes are
hiding in the grass,

716
00:40:19,310 --> 00:40:22,316
so make sure that you have
your [INAUDIBLE] ready to chop

717
00:40:22,316 --> 00:40:23,370
the snakes in half.

718
00:40:23,370 --> 00:40:24,670
>>We couldn't shower.

719
00:40:24,670 --> 00:40:28,990
We were waiting for killers
to find us every day.

720
00:40:28,990 --> 00:40:31,180
>>If you're working
a field and spot

721
00:40:31,180 --> 00:40:33,930
a Tutsi woman in the bushes
breastfeeding her baby,

722
00:40:33,930 --> 00:40:36,266
don't waste a
golden opportunity.

723
00:40:36,266 --> 00:40:39,600
Pick up your gun, shoot them,
chop the snakes in half.

724
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:41,560
Don't forget to kill the baby.

725
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,540
The child of a snake is a snake.

726
00:40:44,540 --> 00:40:47,000
>>They went home
by home to search,

727
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,830
to see if anyone was hiding.

728
00:40:48,830 --> 00:40:52,160
And this was a group that was
paid by the government, given

729
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,500
food, and drink, smokes.

730
00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:57,490
The first time they came,
I remember I was watching,

731
00:40:57,490 --> 00:41:00,124
and I saw them through the
tiny window of the bathroom.

732
00:41:00,124 --> 00:41:04,800


733
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,992
The men circled the house
so that no one jumps out

734
00:41:07,992 --> 00:41:09,950
of the window, and then
they started to scream.

735
00:41:09,950 --> 00:41:14,360


736
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:19,850
They went in every room,
they went under the beds,

737
00:41:19,850 --> 00:41:23,235
they even opened suitcases to
make sure there was no babies

738
00:41:23,235 --> 00:41:24,035
hiding.

739
00:41:24,035 --> 00:41:27,800


740
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,510
They went in the
ceiling of the house

741
00:41:29,510 --> 00:41:33,474
with flashlights to make sure
no one is hiding in the ceiling.

742
00:41:33,474 --> 00:41:34,890
They went on the
roof of the house

743
00:41:34,890 --> 00:41:37,950
to make sure no one
is laying there.

744
00:41:37,950 --> 00:41:42,430
I remember asking, if you are
there, can control all this,

745
00:41:42,430 --> 00:41:47,795
please don't let them find
the door of the bathroom.

746
00:41:47,795 --> 00:41:50,500
A thousand needles
went through your body.

747
00:41:50,500 --> 00:41:51,760
It was painful.

748
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,120
It wasn't a little
fear, it was a lot.

749
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:55,740
Your life was about to be over.

750
00:41:55,740 --> 00:41:57,570
You are about to
be cut by machetes.

751
00:41:57,570 --> 00:42:01,690


752
00:42:01,690 --> 00:42:02,815
>>Where are the Tutsis?

753
00:42:02,815 --> 00:42:04,940
>>No, no, no, don't know
what you're talking about.

754
00:42:04,940 --> 00:42:05,900
I'm a good Hutu.

755
00:42:05,900 --> 00:42:08,170
I would never hide Tutsis,
there are no Tutsis here.

756
00:42:08,170 --> 00:42:12,105
I don't want any problem
with the government.

757
00:42:12,105 --> 00:42:14,254
You know me, I shall
protect this house.

758
00:42:14,254 --> 00:42:16,170
First those Tutsi rebels
come in and attack me

759
00:42:16,170 --> 00:42:18,200
for being such a good Hutu.

760
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,529
>>They came right to the
door of the bathroom.

761
00:42:20,529 --> 00:42:21,820
One of them touched the handle.

762
00:42:21,820 --> 00:42:27,001


763
00:42:27,001 --> 00:42:28,780
He told the man,

764
00:42:28,780 --> 00:42:29,580
>>You know what?

765
00:42:29,580 --> 00:42:32,560


766
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,320
I trust you.

767
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:36,792
You are a good man.

768
00:42:36,792 --> 00:42:37,836
>>Oh, thank you.

769
00:42:37,836 --> 00:42:41,310


770
00:42:41,310 --> 00:42:42,918
>>You are one of us now.

771
00:42:42,918 --> 00:42:47,370


772
00:42:47,370 --> 00:42:49,112
>>I mean, when we
saw him, we jumped.

773
00:42:49,112 --> 00:42:50,820
We thought it was the
killers finding us.

774
00:42:50,820 --> 00:42:52,160
>>You're safe now.

775
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:53,800
You're lucky to be alive.

776
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:58,420
>>We were completely numb
for the first five hours.

777
00:42:58,420 --> 00:43:00,240
>>I don't know how
you are praying,

778
00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:01,410
or if you're even praying.

779
00:43:01,410 --> 00:43:04,442
But whatever you're doing,
please keep doing it.

780
00:43:04,442 --> 00:43:08,890


781
00:43:08,890 --> 00:43:12,270
>>You know, the feelings
I had in that bathroom

782
00:43:12,270 --> 00:43:16,870
were things I never
experienced in my life.

783
00:43:16,870 --> 00:43:20,230
I had anger, anger I
cannot put in words.

784
00:43:20,230 --> 00:43:23,440
I mean, sometimes
people hate one person,

785
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:24,820
and that's bad enough.

786
00:43:24,820 --> 00:43:27,250
I hated like eight
million people.

787
00:43:27,250 --> 00:43:29,850
And I remember thinking,
when I got out,

788
00:43:29,850 --> 00:43:31,570
I'm going to be a
soldier, and I will

789
00:43:31,570 --> 00:43:35,310
train my body, and muscles,
and just kill everybody.

790
00:43:35,310 --> 00:43:38,740
In my anger, I was Rambo.

791
00:43:38,740 --> 00:43:43,000
In some movies I have
seen, I was killing people.

792
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:46,290
With these thoughts I would
be swearing out of anger.

793
00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:50,140
And I'm sitting in the
bathroom with these thoughts,

794
00:43:50,140 --> 00:43:54,940
my head would be aching,
and my stomach is aching.

795
00:43:54,940 --> 00:43:58,100
Why my thoughts are
provoking this poison?

796
00:43:58,100 --> 00:44:01,070
I'm only thinking of
things I want to do.

797
00:44:01,070 --> 00:44:03,080
What is going on with
my thoughts here?

798
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,760


799
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:09,780
>>It's very hard to remember
love when we are scared.

800
00:44:09,780 --> 00:44:11,880
Being afraid is one
of the strongest

801
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:14,340
emotions in the world.

802
00:44:14,340 --> 00:44:17,140
>>Our heart rate varies with
each and every heartbeat.

803
00:44:17,140 --> 00:44:20,970
And when we're frustrated, and
anxious, and emotionally upset,

804
00:44:20,970 --> 00:44:24,100
the rhythm of the heart becomes
very incoherent and jagged.

805
00:44:24,100 --> 00:44:26,340
And this basically
creates a noise

806
00:44:26,340 --> 00:44:29,560
in the system that drowns
out the intuitive signals.

807
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:34,170
>>I remember thinking, this
home has two bathrooms.

808
00:44:34,170 --> 00:44:36,240
If they didn't have
these two bathrooms,

809
00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:38,780
how could we have
been hidden here?

810
00:44:38,780 --> 00:44:40,170
They would have find us.

811
00:44:40,170 --> 00:44:43,620
It was only home that had two
bathrooms inside the house,

812
00:44:43,620 --> 00:44:47,040
and that made me feel good.

813
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:50,730
When I was thinking the
good, it was so distinctive

814
00:44:50,730 --> 00:44:53,070
because the feelings
were so high you

815
00:44:53,070 --> 00:44:56,340
can feel the difference
like someone just pushed you

816
00:44:56,340 --> 00:44:58,440
down and lifted you up.

817
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:00,660
Like it's so clearly.

818
00:45:00,660 --> 00:45:03,615
And I started
thinking, we can eat.

819
00:45:03,615 --> 00:45:05,500
Thank God this man has children.

820
00:45:05,500 --> 00:45:08,850
We can eat the leftovers,
even if it was not much.

821
00:45:08,850 --> 00:45:11,400
So I started to see
the good, and it

822
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:13,690
was like my heart was open.

823
00:45:13,690 --> 00:45:16,910
Look at these people,
I can touch somebody.

824
00:45:16,910 --> 00:45:19,650
Just to see the
good in everything.

825
00:45:19,650 --> 00:45:22,970
>>Appreciation is a
heart related feeling.

826
00:45:22,970 --> 00:45:24,900
It requires access
to the intelligence

827
00:45:24,900 --> 00:45:28,510
of the heart to appreciate,
or to have gratitude.

828
00:45:28,510 --> 00:45:32,930
>>And when I was thinking
that way, I felt much smarter.

829
00:45:32,930 --> 00:45:34,850
>>When we're in
a coherent state,

830
00:45:34,850 --> 00:45:37,350
the signal from the heart to
the brain is so much stronger.

831
00:45:37,350 --> 00:45:40,580
It gets up to our frontal
cortex much clearer.

832
00:45:40,580 --> 00:45:42,570
>>That's the heart
knocking on your door,

833
00:45:42,570 --> 00:45:44,850
saying, open the
door, here I am.

834
00:45:44,850 --> 00:45:47,010
You need me.

835
00:45:47,010 --> 00:45:49,570
Because then you
say, ooh, where am I?

836
00:45:49,570 --> 00:45:52,276
I'm in hell.

837
00:45:52,276 --> 00:45:54,880
I didn't know that.

838
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:58,785
But the heart tells
you, trust me.

839
00:45:58,785 --> 00:46:00,680
And when you're out of that--

840
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:03,690
>>It begins to shift the
energies very, very quickly

841
00:46:03,690 --> 00:46:06,820
so that you come into another
level of buoyancy that

842
00:46:06,820 --> 00:46:08,790
rises above the problem.

843
00:46:08,790 --> 00:46:11,290
And in doing so, you
can then see into it.

844
00:46:11,290 --> 00:46:15,840
You can then find
ways to deal with it.

845
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:18,270
>>They're coming back.

846
00:46:18,270 --> 00:46:20,670
>>It was so clear in my heart.

847
00:46:20,670 --> 00:46:23,051
This time they want to find you.

848
00:46:23,051 --> 00:46:25,406
>>Pastor.

849
00:46:25,406 --> 00:46:27,740
Push the wardrobe in
front of the door.

850
00:46:27,740 --> 00:46:29,703
They're not going to
see there is a door.

851
00:46:29,703 --> 00:46:31,092
>>No, no, why?

852
00:46:31,092 --> 00:46:33,383
If they come, they'll
realize it wasn't here.

853
00:46:33,383 --> 00:46:34,745
>>I'm begging you.

854
00:46:34,745 --> 00:46:40,190


855
00:46:40,190 --> 00:46:41,675
>>OK.

856
00:46:41,675 --> 00:46:46,140
OK, OK, I will put it.

857
00:46:46,140 --> 00:46:49,970
>>And it was so clear that
I need to listen to that.

858
00:46:49,970 --> 00:47:02,970


859
00:47:02,970 --> 00:47:04,055
They came to search.

860
00:47:04,055 --> 00:47:11,585


861
00:47:11,585 --> 00:47:13,034
>>Where is she, Pastor?

862
00:47:13,034 --> 00:47:15,186
This is the last
place she was seen.

863
00:47:15,186 --> 00:47:16,632
We know she's here.

864
00:47:16,632 --> 00:47:19,524


865
00:47:19,524 --> 00:47:20,488
Immaculee!

866
00:47:20,488 --> 00:47:23,390


867
00:47:23,390 --> 00:47:30,050
>>One of them said, I've
killed 399 cockroaches.

868
00:47:30,050 --> 00:47:34,136
And he said, I want
Immaculee to be the 400th.

869
00:47:34,136 --> 00:47:36,180
And I'm thinking,
this man, I knew him.

870
00:47:36,180 --> 00:47:39,180
He was a school mate
in elementary school.

871
00:47:39,180 --> 00:47:41,170
Someone I can call a friend.

872
00:47:41,170 --> 00:47:46,176
How can somebody say he
killed 399 people by machete,

873
00:47:46,176 --> 00:47:48,640
but he was proud?

874
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:50,776
They went right in the wardrobe.

875
00:47:50,776 --> 00:47:57,916


876
00:47:57,916 --> 00:48:02,230
They could have find us if
that wardrobe was not there.

877
00:48:02,230 --> 00:48:05,380
And later he said, good idea.

878
00:48:05,380 --> 00:48:07,960
It wasn't even like I wanted
to take credit, like oh good,

879
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:09,370
I had a good idea.

880
00:48:09,370 --> 00:48:12,640
It was just like,
keep listening.

881
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:18,520
Know how to distinguish that
clarity that is not covered by

882
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:22,760
hate, by envy, by jealousy,
by anything unloving.

883
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:24,610
That is really how it comes out.

884
00:48:24,610 --> 00:48:27,760
It comes as a
truth that you know

885
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:33,910
is not motivated by
something not nice.

886
00:48:33,910 --> 00:48:36,140
And the funny part,
when they left,

887
00:48:36,140 --> 00:48:38,020
the anger came right back.

888
00:48:38,020 --> 00:48:40,450
It was just like a
[INAUDIBLE] oil coming back

889
00:48:40,450 --> 00:48:44,770
on the top of the water, like
a veil I pulled in front.

890
00:48:44,770 --> 00:48:46,660
I couldn't say,
I couldn't think.

891
00:48:46,660 --> 00:48:50,440
Oh, my body's aching
again, and my headache.

892
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,920
But that's what you do when
people are killing your people.

893
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:55,210
You get angry.

894
00:48:55,210 --> 00:49:01,350
So I didn't even think there was
another way to deal with this.

895
00:49:01,350 --> 00:49:05,710
Despite the price I was
paying with my own body,

896
00:49:05,710 --> 00:49:08,590
I couldn't remember how
to smile cause of anger.

897
00:49:08,590 --> 00:49:11,140
I felt like my
mouth was twisted.

898
00:49:11,140 --> 00:49:13,540
I wished to be innocent again.

899
00:49:13,540 --> 00:49:15,620
I wished to see good in people.

900
00:49:15,620 --> 00:49:17,920
But for me, they were animals.

901
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:19,450
They were bad.

902
00:49:19,450 --> 00:49:22,720
They were just evil people.

903
00:49:22,720 --> 00:49:27,110
Every day I prayed about
200 our Lord's Prayer.

904
00:49:27,110 --> 00:49:31,210


905
00:49:31,210 --> 00:49:38,020
Any time I reached the part that
said, forgive us our trespasses

906
00:49:38,020 --> 00:49:43,599
as we forgive those who trespass
against us, I couldn't say it.

907
00:49:43,599 --> 00:49:46,292
>>Give us this day
our daily bread.

908
00:49:46,292 --> 00:49:47,092
Forgive--

909
00:49:47,092 --> 00:49:51,090


910
00:49:51,090 --> 00:49:54,820
>>Any time I went through that
part it was like a red flag.

911
00:49:54,820 --> 00:49:57,050
And then I said, how
can I deal with it?

912
00:49:57,050 --> 00:50:02,920
Because I can't forgive, because
this is unforgivable thing.

913
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:04,180
They tried to kill me.

914
00:50:04,180 --> 00:50:05,980
How do you forgive such a thing?

915
00:50:05,980 --> 00:50:09,850
I wished I could, but it didn't
make sense in my situation.

916
00:50:09,850 --> 00:50:13,390
So one time I said, wait a
minute, I have a better idea.

917
00:50:13,390 --> 00:50:16,610
I thought, let me skip
that part of the prayer.

918
00:50:16,610 --> 00:50:19,810
So then I don't have to say
it, then I can say the rest.

919
00:50:19,810 --> 00:50:24,400
So then within me, God is OK,
now he knows I'm not lying.

920
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:26,560
Lies don't sit well in the body.

921
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:31,880
And I start to skip it,
and I felt so much better.

922
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,480
So I edited it, and
now this voice says--

923
00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:37,030
>>You are editing his prayer.

924
00:50:37,030 --> 00:50:41,180
>>If I were you, I wouldn't
try to edit his prayer.

925
00:50:41,180 --> 00:50:43,000
You know, I can say
this laughing today,

926
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,220
but that time my
mood was crushed.

927
00:50:46,220 --> 00:50:52,270
I remember it was like giving
up, or can I call it surrender?

928
00:50:52,270 --> 00:50:57,520
I went to my knees, and I put
my hands up, and I begged God.

929
00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:59,380
I'm going to put
it back in prayer.

930
00:50:59,380 --> 00:51:02,470
Because if you said pray
this way, you must know

931
00:51:02,470 --> 00:51:04,120
it is the right thing to do.

932
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:05,860
I'm putting it in your hands.

933
00:51:05,860 --> 00:51:08,170
If you know how to
forgive, help me out.

934
00:51:08,170 --> 00:51:09,520
I am willing.

935
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:10,560
That was a big shift.

936
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:29,630


937
00:51:29,630 --> 00:51:33,430
I remember they came to a point
when it was like the world was

938
00:51:33,430 --> 00:51:35,134
divided in two parts.

939
00:51:35,134 --> 00:51:38,520
A part of love,
and a part of hate.

940
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:41,510
In the part of love are
people like Mandela,

941
00:51:41,510 --> 00:51:44,200
like Mother Teresa, Gandhi.

942
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:45,190
People who suffered.

943
00:51:45,190 --> 00:51:47,460
And no matter how
much they suffered,

944
00:51:47,460 --> 00:51:49,830
they still stand up for truth.

945
00:51:49,830 --> 00:51:52,560
They still stand up
for love, for defense

946
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:54,900
of another human being's rights.

947
00:51:54,900 --> 00:51:58,470
And then on the side of hate,
I see people like Hitler,

948
00:51:58,470 --> 00:52:01,460
like those who were causing
genocide in Rwanda who

949
00:52:01,460 --> 00:52:05,280
are vengeful, angry,
like me at that time.

950
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:09,090
And I felt like God was asking
me, where do you want to stand?

951
00:52:09,090 --> 00:52:10,624
Where do you want to belong?

952
00:52:10,624 --> 00:52:14,606


953
00:52:14,606 --> 00:52:18,465
Do you want to belong to side
of love or the side of hate?

954
00:52:18,465 --> 00:52:19,710
And guess what?

955
00:52:19,710 --> 00:52:21,570
People who belong
on the side of love,

956
00:52:21,570 --> 00:52:24,190
they have known injustice.

957
00:52:24,190 --> 00:52:26,230
They have known hate.

958
00:52:26,230 --> 00:52:28,440
They have known how
to be treated bad.

959
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:29,546
But it's your choice.

960
00:52:29,546 --> 00:52:34,152


961
00:52:34,152 --> 00:52:37,690
And I remember, it was
so clear that I said,

962
00:52:37,690 --> 00:52:40,260
of course I want to be
with Gandhi, with Mandela.

963
00:52:40,260 --> 00:52:41,820
I admire these people.

964
00:52:41,820 --> 00:52:43,950
I admired Mother Teresa.

965
00:52:43,950 --> 00:52:45,190
I want to be like them.

966
00:52:45,190 --> 00:52:46,350
So what did they do?

967
00:52:46,350 --> 00:52:48,750
They believed people can change.

968
00:52:48,750 --> 00:52:54,270
That was a huge shift in
my thinking in my body.

969
00:52:54,270 --> 00:52:56,100
People do change.

970
00:52:56,100 --> 00:52:58,080
And I remember
thinking, wait a minute.

971
00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:00,480
I don't think people
can really change.

972
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:02,760
Now, wait a minute again.

973
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:05,240
Look at me, I'm changing
with all these thoughts.

974
00:53:05,240 --> 00:53:08,640


975
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:12,400
So when I realized that
people actually do change,

976
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:16,650
people have the capacity
to see things differently,

977
00:53:16,650 --> 00:53:19,710
that's when I realized
I can let it go.

978
00:53:19,710 --> 00:53:24,360
I felt like I moved from the
bathroom to a place of air.

979
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:27,700
That's how love felt in my body.

980
00:53:27,700 --> 00:53:29,260
I couldn't smell nothing bad.

981
00:53:29,260 --> 00:53:31,260
It was like I was floating.

982
00:53:31,260 --> 00:53:34,260


983
00:53:34,260 --> 00:53:38,132
And that was a
paradise in my heart.

984
00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:41,060
I thought about the
killers, I should

985
00:53:41,060 --> 00:53:45,000
have compassion towards them.

986
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:49,410
Imagine the person who
killed 100 people, who

987
00:53:49,410 --> 00:53:52,630
have took away fathers and
mothers from their kids.

988
00:53:52,630 --> 00:53:56,680
What are they going to become
when they wake up one day

989
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,440
and they realize
what they're doing?

990
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:00,010
Someone who begged
them for life?

991
00:54:00,010 --> 00:54:11,750


992
00:54:11,750 --> 00:54:15,110
When we came out, it was
like end of the world.

993
00:54:15,110 --> 00:54:17,704
A million people
and more was killed.

994
00:54:17,704 --> 00:54:24,190
My mom, my father, my
two brothers, my grandma

995
00:54:24,190 --> 00:54:27,010
and my grandpa, neighbors.

996
00:54:27,010 --> 00:54:29,950
My schoolmates, my best friends.

997
00:54:29,950 --> 00:54:32,180
It was the end of the world.

998
00:54:32,180 --> 00:54:34,500
Everywhere was their bodies.

999
00:54:34,500 --> 00:54:37,060
But something have
changed in my heart.

1000
00:54:37,060 --> 00:54:38,590
I was strong inside.

1001
00:54:38,590 --> 00:54:42,460
I was really ready to face
life in a different way.

1002
00:54:42,460 --> 00:54:44,080
I'm a skeleton.

1003
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:45,840
I'm 65 pounds.

1004
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:50,290
But inside, I felt huge,
I felt more beautiful.

1005
00:54:50,290 --> 00:54:52,930
I felt like everybody
was just a gift of God,

1006
00:54:52,930 --> 00:54:57,100
and I just wanted to serve,
to help, and to care.

1007
00:54:57,100 --> 00:54:59,740
For the first time
I'm being grateful

1008
00:54:59,740 --> 00:55:03,340
for things I took
for granted forever.

1009
00:55:03,340 --> 00:55:06,820
And I can say hi to somebody
without anyone killing me.

1010
00:55:06,820 --> 00:55:10,560
And then I remember in
evening, this nice wind.

1011
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:14,440
The trees are moving, I can
feel the wind in my body.

1012
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:16,840
I didn't feel this
for three months.

1013
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:19,730
I can see the stars,
I can see the moon,

1014
00:55:19,730 --> 00:55:21,113
and I don't have
to pay for this.

1015
00:55:21,113 --> 00:55:23,880
Did I ever looked at
the moon and said,

1016
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:25,570
wow, nice to have the moon?

1017
00:55:25,570 --> 00:55:26,800
No.

1018
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:30,640
It was overwhelming feeling
of love and appreciation.

1019
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:33,640
I wanted to scream
to the whole world.

1020
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:37,035
Do you see the beauty?

1021
00:55:37,035 --> 00:55:45,070
>>The mind can understand
conceptually wholeness,

1022
00:55:45,070 --> 00:55:47,750
but only the hard can
experience wholeness.

1023
00:55:47,750 --> 00:55:51,040


1024
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:54,240
And the reward, if we can
endure what we experience,

1025
00:55:54,240 --> 00:55:58,880
is that we don't just
grasp oneness, we feel it.

1026
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:02,050


1027
00:56:02,050 --> 00:56:10,600
>>Your head sees things
as black or white, wrong

1028
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:16,550
or right, bad or good.

1029
00:56:16,550 --> 00:56:21,570
Head is always touching,
always off balance.

1030
00:56:21,570 --> 00:56:27,970


1031
00:56:27,970 --> 00:56:30,790
>>How long do I have to wait
for it to be white again?

1032
00:56:30,790 --> 00:56:37,330


1033
00:56:37,330 --> 00:56:42,280
>>Just because you can't see
it doesn't mean it isn't there.

1034
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:48,620


1035
00:56:48,620 --> 00:56:53,885
The heart is much faster
and wiser than the head.

1036
00:56:53,885 --> 00:56:57,280
In the eyes of the heart,
black and white judgments

1037
00:56:57,280 --> 00:57:03,670
disappear because the heart
is balanced by a deeper truth.

1038
00:57:03,670 --> 00:57:09,630
The great spirit spins together
moments of profound beauty

1039
00:57:09,630 --> 00:57:13,670
that can only be
experienced with the heart.

1040
00:57:13,670 --> 00:57:19,430


1041
00:57:19,430 --> 00:57:23,020
>>I am forever grateful
for that bathroom.

1042
00:57:23,020 --> 00:57:27,220
To see where evil
can take people,

1043
00:57:27,220 --> 00:57:30,720
but to see also where
love can take people.

1044
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:34,290
Just realize the
weakness of people,

1045
00:57:34,290 --> 00:57:37,810
but the strength that is
within each one of us.

1046
00:57:37,810 --> 00:57:41,500
To push me that far,
to dig within my heart,

1047
00:57:41,500 --> 00:57:44,046
and to trust that
instinct within.

1048
00:57:44,046 --> 00:57:47,260


1049
00:57:47,260 --> 00:57:50,490
>>And when you can
give thanks for it all

1050
00:57:50,490 --> 00:57:56,620
and love without conditions,
then you will be free.

1051
00:57:56,620 --> 00:57:58,789
That is the power of the heart.

1052
00:57:58,789 --> 00:58:03,280


1053
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:06,430
>>Life is full of challenges.

1054
00:58:06,430 --> 00:58:09,520
Challenges and
hardships often times

1055
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:13,300
are the intense
heat and fire that

1056
00:58:13,300 --> 00:58:16,360
break us open to
discover gifts, talents,

1057
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:19,840
and capacities within us that
we would have never discovered

1058
00:58:19,840 --> 00:58:21,130
before.

1059
00:58:21,130 --> 00:58:23,830
>>So like a match
that holds fire,

1060
00:58:23,830 --> 00:58:26,680
but until it strikes against
something you have no flame.

1061
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:29,530


1062
00:58:29,530 --> 00:58:31,990
By rubbing up
against experience,

1063
00:58:31,990 --> 00:58:37,829
our heart comes aflame, and
light and warmth come from us.

1064
00:58:37,829 --> 00:58:39,370
{\an8}>>You can even be
grateful for things

1065
00:58:39,370 --> 00:58:42,830
{\an8}that you imagine that
aren't any good for you.

1066
00:58:42,830 --> 00:58:45,400
{\an8}That you imagine that you don't
really want, or that you wish

1067
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:47,530
{\an8}you hadn't had to experience.

1068
00:58:47,530 --> 00:58:52,240
Even in those moments,
masters say thank you to life,

1069
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:55,239
thank you to God, thank
you to the divine self

1070
00:58:55,239 --> 00:58:56,530
for this particular experience.

1071
00:58:56,530 --> 00:58:58,750
Because I know that
before too long I

1072
00:58:58,750 --> 00:59:01,180
will see the
extraordinary gift that

1073
00:59:01,180 --> 00:59:06,670
has been folded into
this physical encounter.

1074
00:59:06,670 --> 00:59:11,140
>>Six months after the genocide,
and people used to tell me,

1075
00:59:11,140 --> 00:59:13,400
you can't forgive this quick.

1076
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:18,480
It's too quick to be happy.

1077
00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:20,590
You can't be smiling
after what happened.

1078
00:59:20,590 --> 00:59:23,392


1079
00:59:23,392 --> 00:59:26,710
And that really kind of made
me question a little bit

1080
00:59:26,710 --> 00:59:28,150
sometimes.

1081
00:59:28,150 --> 00:59:36,250
I said, am I happy and forgiving
out of surviving mechanism?

1082
00:59:36,250 --> 00:59:37,610
Am I going to crush one day?

1083
00:59:37,610 --> 00:59:40,910
Which many people told me,
on one day, if you see them,

1084
00:59:40,910 --> 00:59:42,560
you will go back to the anger.

1085
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:43,760
I said, really?

1086
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:44,690
Let me see.

1087
00:59:44,690 --> 00:59:49,250
So I went to prison to see the
person who have killed my mom

1088
00:59:49,250 --> 00:59:52,730
and my brother, whom I would
not have gone to meet him.

1089
00:59:52,730 --> 00:59:54,800
It didn't serve me one bit.

1090
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:58,220
So I went there just to
really see how I feel.

1091
00:59:58,220 --> 01:00:00,890
And I have learned
the head of the jail

1092
01:00:00,890 --> 01:00:03,740
is a friend of my
father who lost his wife

1093
01:00:03,740 --> 01:00:05,570
and like five children.

1094
01:00:05,570 --> 01:00:09,010
So I knew he would
open the door for me.

1095
01:00:09,010 --> 01:00:12,170
>>You can hit him,
you can do whatever

1096
01:00:12,170 --> 01:00:17,700
you want because I'm here now.

1097
01:00:17,700 --> 01:00:18,630
I will protect you.

1098
01:00:18,630 --> 01:00:21,510


1099
01:00:21,510 --> 01:00:22,970
So ease up your pain.

1100
01:00:22,970 --> 01:00:41,628


1101
01:00:41,628 --> 01:00:43,120
>>And he brought the man.

1102
01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:47,930


1103
01:00:47,930 --> 01:00:48,770
I remember him.

1104
01:00:48,770 --> 01:00:51,210
He used to be a teacher.

1105
01:00:51,210 --> 01:00:53,280
He was like a father to me.

1106
01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:54,780
He had kids my age.

1107
01:00:54,780 --> 01:00:59,350
I used to visit them, and
have lunch with the family.

1108
01:00:59,350 --> 01:01:02,500
Now that's him who did that?

1109
01:01:02,500 --> 01:01:04,240
I just broke down and cried.

1110
01:01:04,240 --> 01:01:07,920


1111
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:09,640
And I truly cried
out of compassion

1112
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:11,290
towards him and his family.

1113
01:01:11,290 --> 01:01:39,625


1114
01:01:39,625 --> 01:01:41,110
>>I forgive you.

1115
01:01:41,110 --> 01:01:48,040


1116
01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:49,525
I forgive you.

1117
01:01:49,525 --> 01:01:54,010


1118
01:01:54,010 --> 01:01:57,320
>>It wasn't like, oh, I
planned to say these words.

1119
01:01:57,320 --> 01:01:59,210
There's something I
wanted to express,

1120
01:01:59,210 --> 01:02:02,320
and I couldn't find
words to say it fully.

1121
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:04,930
I wanted him to be free from me.

1122
01:02:04,930 --> 01:02:07,460
Not to think, oh,
she's mad at me.

1123
01:02:07,460 --> 01:02:09,064
You know, I can't do nothing.

1124
01:02:09,064 --> 01:02:10,480
I just wanted him
to have a chance

1125
01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:13,490
to go through his own
journey from his own heart,

1126
01:02:13,490 --> 01:02:15,790
not because somebody
is angry at him,

1127
01:02:15,790 --> 01:02:17,345
or someone put him in a prison.

1128
01:02:17,345 --> 01:02:18,700
>>What is wrong with you?

1129
01:02:18,700 --> 01:02:25,490


1130
01:02:25,490 --> 01:02:28,630
>>And the head of
the jail was so mad.

1131
01:02:28,630 --> 01:02:30,926
>>What is wrong with you, huh?

1132
01:02:30,926 --> 01:02:34,490
You do not know
what he did to us?

1133
01:02:34,490 --> 01:02:37,010
You do not love
your parents, huh?

1134
01:02:37,010 --> 01:02:39,360
You forget?

1135
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:41,425
>>I forgot that
the man was there,

1136
01:02:41,425 --> 01:02:43,880
and actually who
lost his family, too.

1137
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:45,170
And I really felt bad.

1138
01:02:45,170 --> 01:02:47,905
>>You forgive a killer?

1139
01:02:47,905 --> 01:02:51,730
What is wrong with you?

1140
01:02:51,730 --> 01:02:54,430
What is wrong with you?

1141
01:02:54,430 --> 01:02:56,450
>>Oh my God, why
did I forgive him?

1142
01:02:56,450 --> 01:02:59,310
But I did, I wanted to.

1143
01:02:59,310 --> 01:03:00,640
I wanted to free him.

1144
01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:03,390
But it felt more
like weakness, it

1145
01:03:03,390 --> 01:03:07,480
felt like-- somewhere I
knew it was the right thing.

1146
01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:10,150
>>It's the most horrifying tale.

1147
01:03:10,150 --> 01:03:14,750
And yet she, and many people
living through that genocide,

1148
01:03:14,750 --> 01:03:19,480
have found it in their hearts
to forgive and to move on.

1149
01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:21,490
>>Forgiveness is everything.

1150
01:03:21,490 --> 01:03:25,470


1151
01:03:25,470 --> 01:03:32,960
When I think of forgiveness, I'm
brought to weep with gratitude

1152
01:03:32,960 --> 01:03:35,660
that it exists.

1153
01:03:35,660 --> 01:03:37,870
>>Now, forgiveness doesn't
mean that you're condoning

1154
01:03:37,870 --> 01:03:39,640
someone else's behavior.

1155
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:42,040
This is a really
important point.

1156
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:43,690
Forgiveness merely
means that you're

1157
01:03:43,690 --> 01:03:46,390
freeing yourself up
from the energy blocks

1158
01:03:46,390 --> 01:03:47,980
that you're holding.

1159
01:03:47,980 --> 01:03:51,400
Those resentments
that you're carrying.

1160
01:03:51,400 --> 01:03:56,260
>>There's a song, a Gospel song.

1161
01:03:56,260 --> 01:04:02,590
And it says, (SINGING)take
your burden to the Lord

1162
01:04:02,590 --> 01:04:04,930
and leave them there.

1163
01:04:04,930 --> 01:04:08,990
Leave them there,
oh, leave them there.

1164
01:04:08,990 --> 01:04:13,720
Take your burden to the
Lord and leave them there.

1165
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:19,060
If you trust Him, never doubt,
he will surely bring you out.

1166
01:04:19,060 --> 01:04:22,670
Take your burden to the
Lord and leave them-- now,

1167
01:04:22,670 --> 01:04:24,500
there is that, and
there are people

1168
01:04:24,500 --> 01:04:30,700
that sing that with such
fervor and such confidence.

1169
01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:33,400
And those are the same
people who take their burden,

1170
01:04:33,400 --> 01:04:36,445
say there my burdens, and then
they get up and take the burden

1171
01:04:36,445 --> 01:04:37,245
with them.

1172
01:04:37,245 --> 01:04:39,850
And they go-- [LAUGHS]

1173
01:04:39,850 --> 01:04:43,000
>>How can we connect
with the heart?

1174
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:50,395
Well, your starting point is
all you ever have, this moment.

1175
01:04:50,395 --> 01:04:53,810


1176
01:04:53,810 --> 01:04:56,210
>>We are so busy all the time.

1177
01:04:56,210 --> 01:05:00,340
There's no time, no space,
no silence for the heart.

1178
01:05:00,340 --> 01:05:03,850
>>Unless you actually
can be out in nature,

1179
01:05:03,850 --> 01:05:07,420
and experience the birds
singing, and the trees,

1180
01:05:07,420 --> 01:05:11,380
and the blue sky,
you are divorced

1181
01:05:11,380 --> 01:05:15,940
from the great spiritual being
that I feel is all around us.

1182
01:05:15,940 --> 01:05:19,750
And I've been so lucky to spend
months and months on my own

1183
01:05:19,750 --> 01:05:20,920
in nature.

1184
01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:23,470
Then you can become
a whole human

1185
01:05:23,470 --> 01:05:28,750
being with heart, and
brain, and spirit, all

1186
01:05:28,750 --> 01:05:30,490
connected and whole.

1187
01:05:30,490 --> 01:05:33,190
>>That's why maybe
people meditate or pray,

1188
01:05:33,190 --> 01:05:37,600
because they need that
space, that moment when

1189
01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:40,340
you listen to the heart.

1190
01:05:40,340 --> 01:05:45,950
>>Every storm has a hole in
the center the size of a navel

1191
01:05:45,950 --> 01:05:50,150
through which a gull
can fly in silence.

1192
01:05:50,150 --> 01:05:53,330
>>And so you become calm.

1193
01:05:53,330 --> 01:05:56,360
You must become calm.

1194
01:05:56,360 --> 01:06:01,320
If you don't know what
to do, do nothing.

1195
01:06:01,320 --> 01:06:08,150
Don't fill your time with
trivia, simply do nothing.

1196
01:06:08,150 --> 01:06:10,140
Simply sit.

1197
01:06:10,140 --> 01:06:11,190
>>Breathe.

1198
01:06:11,190 --> 01:06:14,130
All the traditions
speak about the value

1199
01:06:14,130 --> 01:06:16,560
of meditation,
reflection, contemplation,

1200
01:06:16,560 --> 01:06:18,790
which all center on breathing.

1201
01:06:18,790 --> 01:06:19,590
Why?

1202
01:06:19,590 --> 01:06:23,670
Because breath restores us
to the safety of the moment.

1203
01:06:23,670 --> 01:06:25,920
>>Now you want to breathe a
little deeper and a little

1204
01:06:25,920 --> 01:06:27,780
slower than you normally would.

1205
01:06:27,780 --> 01:06:31,050
About a four or five second on
the in-breath, and four or five

1206
01:06:31,050 --> 01:06:32,290
seconds on the out breath.

1207
01:06:32,290 --> 01:06:33,956
But you don't hold
your breath, you just

1208
01:06:33,956 --> 01:06:36,780
get a nice rhythm, that
pace, holding your tension

1209
01:06:36,780 --> 01:06:37,840
in the area of the heart.

1210
01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:40,390
{\an8}>>Bring your awareness
to your heart.

1211
01:06:40,390 --> 01:06:43,980
{\an8}Bring your conscious
awareness into your heart.

1212
01:06:43,980 --> 01:06:52,300
>>And you may be
able maybe to hear.

1213
01:06:52,300 --> 01:06:55,060
>>I ask my heart all
the time for guidance.

1214
01:06:55,060 --> 01:06:58,330
>>Your heart has a very good
way to tell you whether you're

1215
01:06:58,330 --> 01:07:00,550
in a good path or not.

1216
01:07:00,550 --> 01:07:02,980
It's called enthusiasm.

1217
01:07:02,980 --> 01:07:06,380
>>I let in whatever's
around me, and I

1218
01:07:06,380 --> 01:07:11,570
ask, where's the aliveness now?

1219
01:07:11,570 --> 01:07:15,200
>>When I'm playing with
the kids, when I make love

1220
01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:19,160
to my husband, when I read a
good book, when I'm writing

1221
01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:22,430
and I feel that the
character becomes a person

1222
01:07:22,430 --> 01:07:24,800
and talks to me,
then my heart also

1223
01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:30,260
feels fluttering, and
with laughter, with joy.

1224
01:07:30,260 --> 01:07:32,960
Why everything has
to be so serious?

1225
01:07:32,960 --> 01:07:35,825
>>It's very important
to have fun.

1226
01:07:35,825 --> 01:07:39,860
Even the middle of something
that you are doing that

1227
01:07:39,860 --> 01:07:42,500
requires a lot of discipline.

1228
01:07:42,500 --> 01:07:48,110
And so to connect to your
heart, become a child.

1229
01:07:48,110 --> 01:07:50,420
>>My dear friend
George came to Greece.

1230
01:07:50,420 --> 01:07:52,210
This guy is a billionaire.

1231
01:07:52,210 --> 01:07:53,870
And he is very big.

1232
01:07:53,870 --> 01:07:55,250
He started talking, and I said--

1233
01:07:55,250 --> 01:07:56,430
>>Listen.

1234
01:07:56,430 --> 01:07:58,670
If you want to talk
with me, come with me.

1235
01:07:58,670 --> 01:08:00,530
>>I took him out in
the central of Athens

1236
01:08:00,530 --> 01:08:02,042
where we have a trampoline.

1237
01:08:02,042 --> 01:08:08,219


1238
01:08:08,219 --> 01:08:10,510
>>We're not going to talk
business unless you follow me

1239
01:08:10,510 --> 01:08:11,900
on the trampoline, man.

1240
01:08:11,900 --> 01:08:12,700
>>No, no, no, no.

1241
01:08:12,700 --> 01:08:14,199
>>Yes, yes, yes, together.

1242
01:08:14,199 --> 01:08:16,480
>>I'm not going on a trampoline.

1243
01:08:16,480 --> 01:08:18,900
>>You're a difficult guy
to get undressed, man.

1244
01:08:18,900 --> 01:08:24,727


1245
01:08:24,727 --> 01:08:27,310
>>He came up on the trampoline
for the first time in his life,

1246
01:08:27,310 --> 01:08:31,150
and we started jumping together,
up and down, up and down.

1247
01:08:31,150 --> 01:08:34,770
140 kilos, no?

1248
01:08:34,770 --> 01:08:36,400
>>Hey, you could
become a champion

1249
01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:37,559
if you train a little bit.

1250
01:08:37,559 --> 01:08:39,070
Next Olympic games, OK?

1251
01:08:39,070 --> 01:08:41,006
I will be your manager, man!

1252
01:08:41,006 --> 01:08:47,298


1253
01:08:47,298 --> 01:08:49,163
[LAUGHING]

1254
01:08:49,163 --> 01:08:50,579
Wow, what a good
boy you are, man!

1255
01:08:50,579 --> 01:08:54,890
That's the way I like it!

1256
01:08:54,890 --> 01:08:57,289
>>He was so happy,
like a little child.

1257
01:08:57,289 --> 01:08:59,820


1258
01:08:59,820 --> 01:09:01,039
The child is hidden.

1259
01:09:01,039 --> 01:09:04,039
Everybody's a child, even
him, who is a billionaire.

1260
01:09:04,039 --> 01:09:08,340
>>And the child is
saying, hello, I'm here.

1261
01:09:08,340 --> 01:09:11,699
But we think, oh,
we are grown up,

1262
01:09:11,699 --> 01:09:15,210
we're not going to
listen to this child.

1263
01:09:15,210 --> 01:09:21,480
Because this child
has childish dreams.

1264
01:09:21,480 --> 01:09:24,730
And so we forget the child.

1265
01:09:24,730 --> 01:09:27,449
And from the moment that
we forget the child,

1266
01:09:27,449 --> 01:09:30,360
we think the child is
going to forget us.

1267
01:09:30,360 --> 01:09:31,520
No.

1268
01:09:31,520 --> 01:09:34,409
The child is not
going to forget us.

1269
01:09:34,409 --> 01:09:38,789
This child will be here
always, hello, I'm here.

1270
01:09:38,789 --> 01:09:40,050
I'm talking to you.

1271
01:09:40,050 --> 01:09:41,539
Can you listen?

1272
01:09:41,539 --> 01:09:44,959
And then we say, shut up.

1273
01:09:44,959 --> 01:09:47,070
I don't want to listen to you.

1274
01:09:47,070 --> 01:09:52,620
But the day that
you're facing death,

1275
01:09:52,620 --> 01:09:56,620
this child will be there, and
are going to ask you again,

1276
01:09:56,620 --> 01:10:00,150
why didn't you listen to me?

1277
01:10:00,150 --> 01:10:04,262
And then you have to answer.

1278
01:10:04,262 --> 01:10:09,510
And your answer will be
your hell or your heaven.

1279
01:10:09,510 --> 01:10:15,210
>>The difference between
being childish and childlike

1280
01:10:15,210 --> 01:10:21,720
is that being childish reduces
our world and returns us

1281
01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:23,820
to being self-centered.

1282
01:10:23,820 --> 01:10:28,870
Being childlike
returns us to wonder.

1283
01:10:28,870 --> 01:10:30,840
>>It's wonderful
to be like a child

1284
01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:32,790
if you still can practice this.

1285
01:10:32,790 --> 01:10:36,120
When I'm in new places, or
new cities, or new areas,

1286
01:10:36,120 --> 01:10:37,860
I'm as Alice in Wonderland.

1287
01:10:37,860 --> 01:10:39,780
Then the heart goes open again.

1288
01:10:39,780 --> 01:10:42,420
>>And then I feel
my heart exploding.

1289
01:10:42,420 --> 01:10:45,320
You know, I feel the
heat of the heart.

1290
01:10:45,320 --> 01:10:49,200
>>And it is wonderfully
liberating and empowering

1291
01:10:49,200 --> 01:10:53,400
to be aligned with
the heart, that which

1292
01:10:53,400 --> 01:10:56,460
underlies all creation.

1293
01:10:56,460 --> 01:11:02,130
And it is then that often you
find helpful factors coming

1294
01:11:02,130 --> 01:11:06,110
into your life out
of nowhere, and those

1295
01:11:06,110 --> 01:11:09,150
are synchronistic
events that usually

1296
01:11:09,150 --> 01:11:15,120
are confirmation that you are
connected to that deeper level.

1297
01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:20,280
>>Synchronicity this word
that was created by Carl Jung.

1298
01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:22,800
When something appears
to be a coincidence,

1299
01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:25,890
but you know that there's
more to it than that.

1300
01:11:25,890 --> 01:11:30,180
>>For example, you get a phone
call just at the right moment.

1301
01:11:30,180 --> 01:11:33,060
Something that becomes
helpful factor,

1302
01:11:33,060 --> 01:11:36,300
and you cannot explain
causally how that happened.

1303
01:11:36,300 --> 01:11:39,540
>>Synchronicity is a miracle.

1304
01:11:39,540 --> 01:11:44,640
The only thing that you can do
is to be open to synchronicity.

1305
01:11:44,640 --> 01:11:48,150
>>It is as if a
filter drops away,

1306
01:11:48,150 --> 01:11:52,170
and we notice that
synchronicity is all around us.

1307
01:11:52,170 --> 01:11:55,880
That this isn't an
accidental universe.

1308
01:11:55,880 --> 01:11:59,360
>>When we were waiting
to hear from the doctors,

1309
01:11:59,360 --> 01:12:02,480
I had one of
Christina's jackets.

1310
01:12:02,480 --> 01:12:06,890
And I reached into the pockets
and I pulled out a fortune

1311
01:12:06,890 --> 01:12:08,870
from a fortune cookie.

1312
01:12:08,870 --> 01:12:14,215
We must always have old
memories and young hopes.

1313
01:12:14,215 --> 01:12:16,775


1314
01:12:16,775 --> 01:12:26,550
And that was a sign for
us that she was gone.

1315
01:12:26,550 --> 01:12:28,630
>>And immediately I just
thought this was like--

1316
01:12:28,630 --> 01:12:29,850
>>A final message.

1317
01:12:29,850 --> 01:12:31,430
>>Her final message to us.

1318
01:12:31,430 --> 01:12:36,076
I mean, the old memories were
the old memories with her,

1319
01:12:36,076 --> 01:12:38,020
with Christina.

1320
01:12:38,020 --> 01:12:42,880
And the young hopes, or
the optimism, you know,

1321
01:12:42,880 --> 01:12:44,070
she was 21 years old.

1322
01:12:44,070 --> 01:12:46,300
She looked ahead
to her whole life.

1323
01:12:46,300 --> 01:12:48,520
To me it was telling
us that we have

1324
01:12:48,520 --> 01:12:54,530
to pick up where she left off,
even though I'm not 21 anymore.

1325
01:12:54,530 --> 01:12:58,960
I have to adopt that
philosophy and try

1326
01:12:58,960 --> 01:13:04,552
to live up to the young
hopes for the future

1327
01:13:04,552 --> 01:13:06,010
that you can have,
and that you can

1328
01:13:06,010 --> 01:13:07,660
make a difference in the world.

1329
01:13:07,660 --> 01:13:11,320
>>Synchronicity is largely due
to intuition, where we end up

1330
01:13:11,320 --> 01:13:13,240
in the right place at
the right time because

1331
01:13:13,240 --> 01:13:15,670
of that inner guidance.

1332
01:13:15,670 --> 01:13:18,430
In other experiments
we've done, we

1333
01:13:18,430 --> 01:13:21,220
see that the heart can know the
information about 20 seconds

1334
01:13:21,220 --> 01:13:22,780
before hand.

1335
01:13:22,780 --> 01:13:24,460
But in real life,
our intuition's

1336
01:13:24,460 --> 01:13:26,920
not limited by these
experimental protocols.

1337
01:13:26,920 --> 01:13:28,660
And I think we have
to be careful not

1338
01:13:28,660 --> 01:13:30,670
to say that, well,
intuition is only

1339
01:13:30,670 --> 01:13:32,600
20 seconds before an event.

1340
01:13:32,600 --> 01:13:34,720
Because we know
in the real world,

1341
01:13:34,720 --> 01:13:37,510
it can be hours and
sometimes even days

1342
01:13:37,510 --> 01:13:39,670
before an event actually occurs.

1343
01:13:39,670 --> 01:13:42,400
Most people instantly think
about going to Las Vegas

1344
01:13:42,400 --> 01:13:44,000
and gambling or something.

1345
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:46,330
If intuition really
works as I'm suggesting,

1346
01:13:46,330 --> 01:13:49,750
it's really our own
spirit working with us.

1347
01:13:49,750 --> 01:13:52,930
So it's not always in our best
behalf from that interaction

1348
01:13:52,930 --> 01:13:54,632
between our higher
self, or our soul,

1349
01:13:54,632 --> 01:13:55,840
whatever you want to call it.

1350
01:13:55,840 --> 01:13:57,830
Every culture has
their own name for it.

1351
01:13:57,830 --> 01:14:00,490
That we go to Las Vegas
and just win all the time.

1352
01:14:00,490 --> 01:14:02,920
So intuition is really
our own best friend.

1353
01:14:02,920 --> 01:14:05,265
It's really the moment
to moment inner guidance.

1354
01:14:05,265 --> 01:14:07,390
You know, when we get that
feeling that something's

1355
01:14:07,390 --> 01:14:09,370
just not right, or we
shouldn't do something.

1356
01:14:09,370 --> 01:14:11,800
Or it can be a positive
feeling that we really

1357
01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:15,390
should do something, or
go to a certain place.

1358
01:14:15,390 --> 01:14:18,150
>>I remember the day before
the genocide happened.

1359
01:14:18,150 --> 01:14:21,660
My brother came home, he
spent a day with his friends,

1360
01:14:21,660 --> 01:14:25,290
and he told us that he heard
a rumor that they were going

1361
01:14:25,290 --> 01:14:28,000
to kill every Tutsi that night.

1362
01:14:28,000 --> 01:14:32,730
And we were, our
family, on the list.

1363
01:14:32,730 --> 01:14:35,642
>>I cannot move the family
just because you heard a rumor.

1364
01:14:35,642 --> 01:14:37,350
>>What if it's true,
and in the morning--

1365
01:14:37,350 --> 01:14:38,160
>>Stop it.

1366
01:14:38,160 --> 01:14:38,960
No fear.

1367
01:14:38,960 --> 01:14:41,345
Just trust in God
and forget about it.

1368
01:14:41,345 --> 01:14:44,670


1369
01:14:44,670 --> 01:14:45,840
What do you think?

1370
01:14:45,840 --> 01:14:47,070
>>We should move.

1371
01:14:47,070 --> 01:14:49,300
This is so important.

1372
01:14:49,300 --> 01:14:51,300
It's 10 minutes away, we
can just take the boat,

1373
01:14:51,300 --> 01:14:53,170
and come back in the
morning if nothing.

1374
01:14:53,170 --> 01:14:56,700
>>I know, but we must
trust our father, too.

1375
01:14:56,700 --> 01:14:58,050
>>I know, you're right.

1376
01:14:58,050 --> 01:15:00,570
We should, right?

1377
01:15:00,570 --> 01:15:02,790
>>Because he always
has good judgment.

1378
01:15:02,790 --> 01:15:05,420
>>We should.

1379
01:15:05,420 --> 01:15:10,400
>>It was so clear in my
heart that my decision was

1380
01:15:10,400 --> 01:15:12,530
to move away from the country.

1381
01:15:12,530 --> 01:15:15,540
By the morning, it was too late.

1382
01:15:15,540 --> 01:15:19,310
They had blocked
all the borders.

1383
01:15:19,310 --> 01:15:23,630
That lesson completely
changed my heart forever.

1384
01:15:23,630 --> 01:15:27,350
Now when I have that feeling,
I do listen to my heart,

1385
01:15:27,350 --> 01:15:29,150
no matter who is saying what.

1386
01:15:29,150 --> 01:15:32,220
I have to listen to my heart.

1387
01:15:32,220 --> 01:15:33,800
>>Well, if you don't
trust the heart,

1388
01:15:33,800 --> 01:15:35,520
what are you going to trust?

1389
01:15:35,520 --> 01:15:42,860
>>I believe the heart is
the only thing we can trust.

1390
01:15:42,860 --> 01:15:45,680
>>When we get to the point
where we have experienced

1391
01:15:45,680 --> 01:15:49,160
this transformation
within ourselves, where

1392
01:15:49,160 --> 01:15:51,560
living from love
rather than fear

1393
01:15:51,560 --> 01:15:54,770
has transformed our
own life circumstances,

1394
01:15:54,770 --> 01:15:56,990
then we become channels,
we become vessels.

1395
01:15:56,990 --> 01:15:59,270
We have the moral
authority by which

1396
01:15:59,270 --> 01:16:01,640
to state that possibility
for the planet.

1397
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:04,280
>>Just before she
passed, I was telling her

1398
01:16:04,280 --> 01:16:08,240
that I'd been off work
for a couple of years,

1399
01:16:08,240 --> 01:16:09,740
and we retired.

1400
01:16:09,740 --> 01:16:12,410
And I was kind of
looking for something

1401
01:16:12,410 --> 01:16:14,990
meaningful to do with
the rest of my life,

1402
01:16:14,990 --> 01:16:17,240
because I was still young.

1403
01:16:17,240 --> 01:16:20,320
And she said, oh,
something will come along.

1404
01:16:20,320 --> 01:16:24,740
You'll know it when
it comes along.

1405
01:16:24,740 --> 01:16:27,530
And when she passed,
I knew instantly

1406
01:16:27,530 --> 01:16:29,270
that we had to
continue her work.

1407
01:16:29,270 --> 01:16:31,440
{\an8}And so we started the
foundation, the Christina

1408
01:16:31,440 --> 01:16:36,020
{\an8}Chesterman Memorial Foundation,
to just build on the legacy

1409
01:16:36,020 --> 01:16:38,160
{\an8}that she left already.

1410
01:16:38,160 --> 01:16:40,610
>>As you live from the
heart and more humans

1411
01:16:40,610 --> 01:16:45,770
begin to live from the heart,
that has a ripple effect.

1412
01:16:45,770 --> 01:16:50,540
It ripples out from where you
are, and then you get it back.

1413
01:16:50,540 --> 01:16:52,640
>>Every day you work at it.

1414
01:16:52,640 --> 01:16:54,710
Every day you go to the heart.

1415
01:16:54,710 --> 01:16:57,380
Every day you speak to me.

1416
01:16:57,380 --> 01:16:59,600
>>In fact, I start
each morning with what

1417
01:16:59,600 --> 01:17:00,860
we call a heart lock in.

1418
01:17:00,860 --> 01:17:04,160
Just getting coherent
and really sending myself

1419
01:17:04,160 --> 01:17:06,110
love and appreciation
for a few minutes,

1420
01:17:06,110 --> 01:17:08,900
to start my day from
a more coherent,

1421
01:17:08,900 --> 01:17:12,340
composed, and
connected perspective.

1422
01:17:12,340 --> 01:17:15,710
Then throughout the day you've
got to kind of reboot that.

1423
01:17:15,710 --> 01:17:19,970
So really it's developing
kind of a flow through life.

1424
01:17:19,970 --> 01:17:22,220
So all the in-between
moments, as I call them.

1425
01:17:22,220 --> 01:17:24,590
Like in between here
and the lunch room,

1426
01:17:24,590 --> 01:17:27,230
or between here and
the photocopier.

1427
01:17:27,230 --> 01:17:30,480
Those in-between moments
are perfect opportunities

1428
01:17:30,480 --> 01:17:35,234
to breathe in that appreciation,
or that state of inner ease.

1429
01:17:35,234 --> 01:17:36,650
I mean, we have
to breathe anyway,

1430
01:17:36,650 --> 01:17:39,590
so we might as well
make it more effective.

1431
01:17:39,590 --> 01:17:43,940
>>And if we can
calm down enough,

1432
01:17:43,940 --> 01:17:46,850
we can listen to the wisdom.

1433
01:17:46,850 --> 01:17:52,320
We learn how to be good
neighbors, good visitors.

1434
01:17:52,320 --> 01:17:54,396
How to be good parents.

1435
01:17:54,396 --> 01:17:58,920
How to be good
workers, good teachers.

1436
01:17:58,920 --> 01:18:03,282
We learn how to
be good citizens.

1437
01:18:03,282 --> 01:18:05,662
Good human beings.

1438
01:18:05,662 --> 01:18:09,470
Because we listen.

1439
01:18:09,470 --> 01:18:12,630
And not try to put
our voices in it.

1440
01:18:12,630 --> 01:18:14,010
Just listen.

1441
01:18:14,010 --> 01:18:15,360
>>The heart is my guru.

1442
01:18:15,360 --> 01:18:19,170
For all gurus I've met,
this one is the real one.

1443
01:18:19,170 --> 01:18:21,640
>>Ask your heart any question.

1444
01:18:21,640 --> 01:18:22,740
Who am I?

1445
01:18:22,740 --> 01:18:23,740
What do I want?

1446
01:18:23,740 --> 01:18:25,830
What's my purpose in life?

1447
01:18:25,830 --> 01:18:30,030
What are the qualities that
I look for in a good friend?

1448
01:18:30,030 --> 01:18:32,840
What are the qualities
that I contribute to

1449
01:18:32,840 --> 01:18:34,890
in a good relationship?

1450
01:18:34,890 --> 01:18:37,840
What are my unique
skills and talents?

1451
01:18:37,840 --> 01:18:39,900
How do I use this
to serve humanity?

1452
01:18:39,900 --> 01:18:41,888
Your heart knows
all the answers.

1453
01:18:41,888 --> 01:18:48,206


1454
01:18:48,206 --> 01:18:49,770
>>I still feel lost.

1455
01:18:49,770 --> 01:18:52,950


1456
01:18:52,950 --> 01:18:55,250
I don't know what to do
with my life anymore.

1457
01:18:55,250 --> 01:18:57,195
>>Take the question
to your heart.

1458
01:18:57,195 --> 01:18:59,570
>>I have been.

1459
01:18:59,570 --> 01:19:01,980
I'm not getting any answers.

1460
01:19:01,980 --> 01:19:05,540
>>You're thinking, it's
harder than it really is.

1461
01:19:05,540 --> 01:19:08,750
Just follow that
lightness in your heart,

1462
01:19:08,750 --> 01:19:12,860
and that will eventually lead
you to a life of purpose.

1463
01:19:12,860 --> 01:19:17,640
Some of the biggest questions
of the heart unfold as a path,

1464
01:19:17,640 --> 01:19:18,440
not an answer.

1465
01:19:18,440 --> 01:19:23,460


1466
01:19:23,460 --> 01:19:27,140
{\an8}>>Following our aliveness
without attaching

1467
01:19:27,140 --> 01:19:29,930
{\an8}what it will become.

1468
01:19:29,930 --> 01:19:34,740
Not to become a poet,
but I'm brought alive

1469
01:19:34,740 --> 01:19:40,430
by the questions and
the life of expression.

1470
01:19:40,430 --> 01:19:45,400
Not to become a singer,
but to be brought alive

1471
01:19:45,400 --> 01:19:48,960
by voice coming out of you.

1472
01:19:48,960 --> 01:19:53,120
>>We begin to connect from
our center and not just

1473
01:19:53,120 --> 01:19:55,510
from surface personality.

1474
01:19:55,510 --> 01:19:58,450
It's a whole different way
of moving through the world.

1475
01:19:58,450 --> 01:20:00,800
And when one moves through
the world like this,

1476
01:20:00,800 --> 01:20:03,880
and when we begin to move
through the world like this,

1477
01:20:03,880 --> 01:20:06,880
then the realm of ever
expanding good-- another name

1478
01:20:06,880 --> 01:20:10,256
for heaven-- begins to be
revealed on our planet.

1479
01:20:10,256 --> 01:20:13,610


1480
01:20:13,610 --> 01:20:19,280
>>We cannot see tomorrow's
sky, but the heart sees it.

1481
01:20:19,280 --> 01:20:21,920
And we will be
directed as to how we

1482
01:20:21,920 --> 01:20:25,910
should act in tomorrow's sky.

1483
01:20:25,910 --> 01:20:28,560
More than likely,
we already know.

1484
01:20:28,560 --> 01:20:32,330
But if we don't, the heart
will tell us, if we listen.

1485
01:20:32,330 --> 01:20:56,440


1486
01:20:56,440 --> 01:20:59,377
>>This is for you, sweetheart.

1487
01:20:59,377 --> 01:24:13,069